The Four-Masted Cat-Boat, and Other Truthful TalesLoomis, Charles Battell
General
The Four-Masted Cat-Boat, and Other Truthful Tales
Loomis, Charles Battell
American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American; Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, American
’Rasmus jumped on the horse, the wallet in his hand, and galloped
home, stabling the beautiful animal in his cabin to avoid being
suspected of the murder.
Placing his shoe in front of the one window of the cabin, that none
might see him, he counted the money, and found it amounted to just
$600, which, together with the $3000, formed the sum required by
the sheriff. This made him so happy that he picked up a banjo and
played Wagner’s “Götterdämmerung” through once or twice, accompanying
himself on his throat in a rich tenor. He then turned out the gas and
retired, to sleep as only a good, unselfish soul can.
III
It is 11:45 A. M. The squire and his family, who have heard nothing
from ’Rasmus, are on the veranda, anxiously awaiting the arrival of
the sheriff.
11:50 A. M.! Is ’Rasmus dead? Has the sheriff relented?
11:55. Good lack! The sheriff is seen galloping toward the house, and
yet there is no sign of ’Rasmus.
That individual, who is nothing if not dramatic, is sitting behind
the house on horseback, awaiting the stroke of twelve.
The door of the ormolu cuckoo-clock in the kitchen opens, the cuckoo
advances. At her first note the sheriff jumps from his horse; at the
second he walks sternly upon the veranda; at the third he asks for
the money; at the fourth and fifth they tell him that ’Rasmus has
disappeared; at the sixth, seventh, and eighth he handcuffs them all
together; at the ninth, tenth, and eleventh he jumps on his horse
and rides off, dragging them behind him; and at the twelfth ’Rasmus
trots leisurely out from behind the house, and, opening a carpet-bag,
counts out $3600 in silver!
The astonished sheriff puts the money into his pocket, gives Squire
Lamar a receipt in full for it, unlocks the handcuffs, and the family
resume their wonted places on the veranda.
But all was not yet done. ’Rasmus still had his bludgeon with him,
and a few deft strokes on the sheriff’s head were all-sufficient.
’Rasmus then took back the money and gave it to Squire Lamar. Then he
told them all to remain perfectly still, and whistling three times,
an amateur photographer made his appearance, adjusted his apparatus,
and took their pictures.
Sarony could have wished for no better subjects. On the broad veranda
lay the old lady prone on the floor, reading the “Tallahassee Inland
Mariner”; at her side sat her daughter, Turk-fashion, shelling a
pea; while the son and heir reclined near by, reading an account by
a Prussian officer of the third battle of Bull Run. The father,
weighted down with dollars, snored in the background.
And beaming on them all with the consciousness of having done his
best and done it well, old ’Rasmus stood, singing ventriloquially, so
as not to injure the picture, this negro plantation song:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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