New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, American
And then Milly loomed up with a thousand dishes on her bare arm—loomed
up big and white and pink and awful as Mount Saint Elias—with a smile
like day breaking in a gulch. And the Klondiker threw down his pelts
and nuggets as dross, and let his jaw fall half-way, and stared at her.
You could almost see the diamond tiaras on Milly’s brow and the
hand-embroidered silk Paris gowns that he meant to buy for her.
At last the bollworm had attacked the cotton—the poison ivy was
reaching out its tendrils to entwine the summer boarder—the millionaire
lumberman, thinly disguised as the Alaskan miner, was about to engulf
our Milly and upset Nature’s adjustment.
Kraft was the first to act. He leaped up and pounded the Klondiker’s
back. “Come out and drink,” he shouted. “Drink first and eat
afterward.” Judkins seized one arm and I the other. Gaily, roaringly,
irresistibly, in jolly-good-fellow style, we dragged him from the
restaurant to a café, stuffing his pockets with his embalmed birds and
indigestible nuggets.
There he rumbled a roughly good-humoured protest. “That’s the girl for
my money,” he declared. “She can eat out of my skillet the rest of her
life. Why, I never see such a fine girl. I’m going back there and ask
her to marry me. I guess she won’t want to sling hash any more when she
sees the pile of dust I’ve got.”
“You’ll take another whiskey and milk now,” Kraft persuaded, with
Satan’s smile. “I thought you up-country fellows were better sports.”
Kraft spent his puny store of coin at the bar and then gave Judkins and
me such an appealing look that we went down to the last dime we had in
toasting our guest.
Then, when our ammunition was gone and the Klondiker, still somewhat
sober, began to babble again of Milly, Kraft whispered into his ear
such a polite, barbed insult relating to people who were miserly with
their funds, that the miner crashed down handful after handful of
silver and notes, calling for all the fluids in the world to drown the
imputation.
Thus the work was accomplished. With his own guns we drove him from the
field. And then we had him carted to a distant small hotel and put to
bed with his nuggets and baby seal-skins stuffed around him.
“He will never find Cypher’s again,” said Kraft. “He will propose to
the first white apron he sees in a dairy restaurant to-morrow. And
Milly—I mean the Natural Adjustment—is saved!”
And back to Cypher’s went we three, and, finding customers scarce, we
joined hands and did an Indian dance with Milly in the centre.
This, I say, happened three years ago. And about that time a little
luck descended upon us three, and we were enabled to buy costlier and
less wholesome food than Cypher’s. Our paths separated, and I saw Kraft
no more and Judkins seldom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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