Sussex (England) -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction
A heavy sickness of heart fell on him, sitting there in the
rot-smelling pew, with his arms folded over his chest and his
shoulders shrugged to his ears. He felt caught in his love for Ivy
Beatup like an animal in a trap, frantic, struggling, wounding
himself with his struggles. If she did not want him, why wouldn’t she
let him go?... Lord! he would never forget her that day at Senlac
Fair, with her cheeks red as the pimpernel and her eyes like the big
twilight stars, and her hair blowing about them as they kissed....
If she had not meant it, why had she done it? If she had not wanted
his heart, why had she taken it and bruised it so? He did not please
her. Why? He had pleased other girls; and now he was in uniform ...
that ought to please her. He remembered how she had made him jealous
when she spoke of her soldier friends. Well, now he was a soldier
too—leading a damned life partly for her sake ... that ought to
please her.
In the Bethel yard rank weeds were growing, clumping round the
tombstones, thickening the grass with their fat stalks and wide
milk-bleeding leaves. They were hot in the sun, and the smell of them
crept into the Bethel and found its place in the miasma of wood-rot
and Sunday clothes and plaster and stale lamp-oil ... the smell of
pignut stewing in the sun, of the burdock and the thick fog-weed,
the plantain, the nettle, the dandelion. The chapel weeds seemed to
give Jerry an answer to his question. He did not please Ivy because
he was the gipsy-woman’s son, no less a weed because he grew in a
chapel yard. The hedge-born could not please the house-born, as she
had said—though for that matter he had been born in a bed like any
Christian, in that little room above the Forge at Bethersden, which
he could dimly remember, with its view down three cross-roads.
He clenched his small hard fists, and stared scowling out towards the
sun-swamped fields of the horizon. He would punish Ivy Beatup for her
cruelty, for having trodden on the chapel weed. He would make her
suffer—if he could, for she was tough and lusty as an oak. He found
himself hating her for her sturdy cheerfulness—for the shape of her
face, with the hard, round cheeks and pointed chin—for her lips which
were warm when her heart was cold....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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