England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction
If you have the rare power of being able to work at any time, and after
any event to concentrate your thoughts on work, this is certainly a good
way of receiving disappointments and averting chagrin. Two hours passed.
Leonard continued at his table absorbed in his train of argument, and
for the moment wholly forgetful of what had passed. Presently his pen
began to move more slowly; he threw it down: he had advanced his
position by another earthwork. He sat up; he numbered his pages; he put
them together. And he found himself, after the change of mind necessary
for his work, able to consider the late conversation without passion,
though with a certain surprise. Some men--the weaker brethren--are
indignant, humiliated, by such a rejection. That is because their vanity
is built upon the sands. Leonard was not the kind of man to be
humiliated by any answer to any proposal, even that which concerns the
wedding-ring. He had too many excellent and solid foundations for the
good opinion which he entertained of himself. It was impossible for any
woman to refuse him, considering the standards by which women consider
and estimate men. Constance had indeed acknowledged that in all things
fortune had favoured him, yet owing to some feminine caprice or
unexpected perversity he had not been able to touch her heart. Such a
man as Leonard cannot be humiliated by anything that may be said or done
to him: he is humiliated by his own acts, perhaps, and his own blunders
and mistakes, of which most men’s lives are so full.
He was able to put aside, as an incident which would perhaps be
disavowed in the immediate future, the refusal of that thrice fortunate
hand of his. Besides, the refusal was conveyed in words so gracious and
so kindly.
But there was this strange attack upon him. He found himself repeating
in his own mind her words. Nature, Constance said, makes no man
perfectly happy. He himself, she went on, presented the appearance of
the one exception to the rule. He was well born, wealthy enough, strong
and tall, sound of wind and limb, sufficiently well favoured, with
proved abilities, already successful, and without any discoverable
drawback. Was there any other man in the whole world like unto him? It
would be better for him, this disturbing girl--this oracle--had gone on
to prophesy, if something of the common lot--the dash of bitterness--had
been thrown in with all these great and glorious gifts of fortune;
something would certainly happen: something was coming; there would be
disaster: then he would be more human; he would understand the world. As
soon as he had shared the sorrows and sufferings, the shames and the
humiliations, of the world, he would become more in harmony with men and
women. For the note of the common life is suffering.
At this point there came back to him again out of the misty glades of
childhood the memory of those two women who sat together, widows both,
in the garb of mourning, and wept together.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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