Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive) BY E. F. BENSON THE FREAKS OF MAYFAIR THE TORTOISE MICHAEL THE OAKLEYITES DAVID BLAIZE ARUNDEL GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY NEW YORK [Illustration: The Compleat Snobs] THE FREAKS OF MAYFAIR BY E. F. BENSON AUTHOR OF “THE TORTOISE,” “MICHAEL,” “DODO,” etc. ILLUSTRATED BY GEORGE PLANK [Illustration: colophon] NEW YORK GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA DEDICATED TO FRANK EYES AND KINDLY EARS THE LIST OF CONTENTS I. THE COMPLEAT SNOBS _page_ 13 II. AUNT GEORGIE 31 III. QUACK-QUACK 49 IV. THE POISON OF ASPS 71 V. THE SEA-GREEN INCORRUPTIBLE 85 VI. THE ETERNALLY UNCOMPROMISED 107 VII. THE GRIZZLY KITTENS 125 VIII. CLIMBERS: I. THE HORIZONTAL 143 IX. CLIMBERS: II. THE PERPENDICULAR 161 X. THE SPIRITUAL PASTOR 183 XI. ‘SING FOR YOUR DINNER’ 199 XII. THE PRAISERS OF PAST TIME 217 THE LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS _reproduced from drawings by_ GEORGE PLANK 1. THE COMPLEAT SNOBS _Frontispiece_ 2. AUNT GEORGIE _page_ 36 3. QUACK-QUACK 52 4. POISON OF ASPS 70 5. THE SEA-GREEN INCORRUPTIBLE 98 6. THE GRIZZLY KITTENS 132 7. CLIMBERS: I. THE HORIZONTAL 148 8. CLIMBERS: II. THE PERPENDICULAR 164 CHAPTER ONE THE COMPLEAT SNOBS