The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
‘Your first visit to London?’ asked Madge Newgate.
‘Yes: I’ve been here but a week, and have done nothing but hunt round
for a house and go to the opera.’
Instantly Lady Newgate remembered the solitary and dazzling figure in
the box. She, too, had wondered who the woman in orange and diamonds
was. Mrs. Whitehand’s face had made no impression whatever on her.
‘Ah, then I am sure I saw you there,’ she said. ‘We were all wondering
who you were. You must allow me to put some of my friends out of their
suspense by letting them know.’
Mrs. Whitehand laughed.
‘I should be very pleased for your friends not to strain themselves,’
she remarked. ‘And I’m in suspense too, as to who your friends are. I
don’t know a soul in London.’
This was rather a relief to Madge Newgate. Sometimes a perfectly
impossible tail was attached to these strange Americans, and you had to
encounter the riff-raff of the Western world _en masse_. She laid her
hand on the other’s knee.
‘My dear, you must get some friends at once,’ she said. ‘You might dine
with us to-night, will you? I have two or three people coming.’
This was quite sufficient. Mrs. Whitehand spoke shortly and to the
point.
‘I want to be run,’ she said.
Madge Newgate was a perfectly honest woman, and now that all ambiguity
had been cleared away, she explained what she could do and what she
would expect to receive. She could give Mrs. Whitehand the opportunity
of meeting practically any one she wished, and she could repeat and
again repeat that opportunity. She could bring people to Mrs.
Whitehand’s house, and within limits get them to invite her to theirs.
But more than that, she frankly admitted she could not do.
‘I can’t make them your friends,’ she said. ‘I can only make them your
acquaintances. The other depends on you. You must show yourself useful
or charming or striking in some way, if you want more than just to go to
balls and dinner-parties. Luckily in London we are very hungry, so that
you can always feed people, and very poor, so that you can always tip
people, and very dull, so that you can always amuse people.’
‘I see: I quite see that,’ said Mrs. Whitehand.
Madge felt that she understood: that it was worth while explaining.
‘I’m sure you will forgive my plain speaking,’ she said, ‘but it is
never any use being vague. And there’s a lot of luck about it.
Sometimes a very stupid woman “arrives” and a very clever agreeable one
doesn’t, and the Lord knows why. I should be quite American do you know,
if I were you; Americans are taking well just now. About--well, why
should I beat about the bush?--about what I am to receive for my
trouble. I imagine you don’t want my house in the least for the three
months after July, and I am willing to take a good deal of trouble for
your renting it then. And when some more rent is due, I think I had
better tell you, hadn’t I? I am not greedy, I am only very poor.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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