The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
Now no climber could possibly have made a better beginning than this.
Sarah Whitehand could not have chosen a more admirable godmother, and
though she was lucky in having hit on precisely the right one, she had
shown true perpendicularity in having gone to the right class. She had
aimed at the best and hit it, and in the three months that followed she
continued to show a discretion that bore out the early promise of her
talents. She neither gave herself airs, nor was she grovellingly humble,
she merely enjoyed herself enormously, and since of all social gifts
that is the most popular, she rapidly mounted. She threw herself, with
Lady Newgate’s sanction, into artistic circles, and firmly annexed as
her mascot the chief dancer of the Russian ballet. Unlike poor
horizontal Mrs. Howard-Britten, with her disappointing Herr
Grossesnoise, she made it quite clear that when she asked a party to
meet a bevy of Russian dancers that party was surely going to see the
bevy dance, which it did quite delightfully under the stimulus of
enormous fees. She did not waste her quails and champagne on
unremunerative guests, or guests who so far from helping her would only
hinder her, but followed Lady Newgate’s directions precisely as to whom
she should ask, and very good directions they were.
She had other modes of access as well. She flattered grossly or
delicately as the occasion demanded. When she saw that some one liked to
be drenched in flattery she had bucketsful of it ready. At other times
she confined herself to telling So-and-so’s friends how lovely So-and-so
was looking, or how brilliant So-and-so was. This method she chiefly
adopted to those of Lady Newgate’s friends who had somewhat unwillingly
come to her house, and plentiful applications of these gratifying
assurances usually had their effect sooner or later, for Sarah Whitehand
knew that nobody is insensible to flattery, if (and here lay the
virtue) the proper brand properly administered was supplied. Sometimes
the case required study: it was no use conveying to a beautiful woman
the flattery of acknowledging her beauty: you had to find out something
on which she secretly prided herself, her tact or her want of tact, her
charming manners or her absence of manners, her toes or her teeth, and
make little hypodermic injections in the right place. Then again there
were people who in spite of all allurements would have nothing to do
with her. After two or three unsuccessful direct assaults, she would
attempt that no more, but, just as she was outflanking New York by
laying siege to London, outflank those obdurate folk by laying siege to
their friends. She was infinitely patient over these operations, and
nibbled her way round them, until they were cut off, and found
themselves devoid of all friends save such as were friends of the
accomplished Sarah. By patience, by good humour and by her own enjoyment
she moved steadily and rapidly upwards on branches that she gilded
beforehand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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