The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
Leonard was in no way a snob, and did not, having been launched, want to
voyage the deep seas. He had not the smallest regard for a Marchioness
as such, and his regard was entirely limited to those who would make him
comfortable. Naturally, if a Marchioness asked him to tea, he went, but
he did not go on drinking tea with a Marchioness if that was to be the
limit of her hospitalities. All his respect for money, similarly, was
founded on the basis of what other people’s money would procure for him,
and while he would take a great deal of trouble to secure a footing in
a comfortable house, he would not raise a little finger to be put in a
poky attic in the mansion of a millionaire. But he remained assiduous in
reading paragraphs about those who move in the world which is called
smart, because he knew that other people liked to hear about it, and he
continued to give the impression that he himself frequented exalted
circles. But since he was not himself employed in climbing, he did not
drop his early friends, so long as they put plenty of nice things
through the bars of his cage.
He has no intention at present of marrying, since even to marry a rich
wife would interfere with his career, and he is certainly incapable of
falling in love with a poor one. Indeed he neither falls in love nor
pretends to with anybody, not being of the type that desires amorous, or
even philandering adventure. The motto of his life is ‘Comfort,’ and on
his £600 a year, he finds that warm houses, good cooks, the use of
motor-cars, all the things in fact which supply the wadding of life and
take away its sharp cold angles are well within his reach. He is an
excellent handler of money, has no debts at all, and last season even
managed to have a stall at the opera two nights a week. This again
proved an excellent investment, for he often gave it away in
remunerative quarters, and when he occupied it himself, spent all the
time between the acts in visiting the boxes of his friends, and pointing
them out any celebrity who might happen to be present. Nowadays he knows
them all by sight, and so has less cause to read the Society journals.
The time that he used to give to that he now spends more healthily in
walking swiftly for an hour every morning round the Serpentine, for he
is beginning to exhibit slight signs of stoutness. But he hopes with
this increase of exercise to keep at bay the threatened increase of
weight. When he meets another piping bullfinch, he is dexterous in his
cordiality, and by urging him indefinitely to come to his ‘diggings,’
often secures a definite invitation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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