Frontier and pioneer life -- West (U.S.) -- Fiction
Are you a 'vision fugitive,' O Ranger Man? Do you know that I have
seen you less than ten times and really known you less than a month?
Is it a dream? What happened? I did not mean to do it. I did not
want it. I did not ask it. Why has it come? You said 'best gifts
came unasked; perhaps, they also go unsent!' This one can never go,
Dick. I've been weaving it in and out for three whole hours, (no, not
_thinking_, I _think_ of other people,) weaving it in and out of every
strand of me. I know now I have been waiting for it a billion years;
ages and ages ago when you and I were cave people or desert runners
like the 20,000 B. C. skeleton in the British Museum; and in the
shuffle of atoms, we got apart. We shall never stray again; for I have
locked last night in my heart. Yesterday I could look up at the
Mountain, and what I saw was the snow cross, cold and far away.
To-night I look up. The Mountain is still there but not the same--what
I feel is--_you_; and you are not far away. I am warm with happiness,
delirious when I let myself _stop_ thinking.
I have tried to sleep but cannot. Your old Mountain has been talking
again. I can see the Cross here from my window and the lone star above
the peak; and I know that you see too. If I touched the telephone, I
might speak to you; but I can write more frankly than I'd ever have
courage to speak, and I must say it. It is all tumult. I do not
understand, but Hope is strumming her strings--I hear them every time
the wind comes down from the Ridge. Here is the Watts' 'Happy
Warrior,' and Dick--listen--I didn't mean it as a token when I offered
to send it up. I meant it as a rallying cry; but now that you take it
as a token, I can't say that it isn't; only I really didn't mean to
push you over the edge of things as I did. I didn't mean to go over
the edge myself. If I had heard Senator Moyese talk, I couldn't have
been so childish and ignorant. It was like urging you to jump a
precipice and break your neck. I know now what the fight means. It
isn't just the Valley. It's the Nation. I hadn't any right to let my
(here a word was crossed and blotted) feeling shove you over. Yet if
you jump yourself, I'll not pull a gossamer thread to draw back. I
haven't any right.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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