England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction; Families -- England -- Fiction
The shutting of the door behind her sent a little shiver down Nedda's
spine; but the temperature of her soul was rising, and she looked round.
Beyond the heavy arch, beneath which she stood, was a courtyard where
she could see two men, also in blue, with peaked caps. Then, to her
left, she became conscious of a shaven-headed noiseless being in
drab-gray clothes, on hands and knees, scrubbing the end of a corridor.
Her tremor at the stealthy ugliness of this crouching figure yielded
at once to a spasm of pity. The man gave her a look, furtive, yet so
charged with intense penetrating curiosity that it seemed to let her
suddenly into innumerable secrets. She felt as if the whole life of
people shut away in silence and solitude were disclosed to her in the
swift, unutterably alive look of this noiseless kneeling creature,
riving out of her something to feed his soul and body on. That look
seemed to lick its lips. It made her angry, made her miserable, with
a feeling of pity she could hardly bear. Tears, too startled to flow,
darkened her eyes. Poor man! How he must hate her, who was free, and all
fresh from the open world and the sun, and people to love and talk to!
The 'poor man' scrubbed on steadily, his ears standing out from his
shaven head; then, dragging his knee-mat skew-ways, he took the chance
to look at her again. Perhaps because his dress and cap and stubble of
hair and even the color of his face were so drab-gray, those little dark
eyes seemed to her the most terribly living things she had ever seen.
She felt that they had taken her in from top to toe, clothed and
unclothed, taken in the resentment she had felt and the pity she was
feeling; they seemed at once to appeal, to attack, and to possess her
ravenously, as though all the starved instincts in a whole prisoned
world had rushed up and for a second stood outside their bars. Then came
the clank of keys, the eyes left her as swiftly as they had seized her,
and he became again just that stealthy, noiseless creature scrubbing a
stone floor. And, shivering, Nedda thought:
'I can't bear myself here—me with everything in the world I want—and
these with nothing!'
But the stout janitor was standing by her again, together with another
man in blue, who said:
“Now, miss; this way, please!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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