DIO. (_In agony_.) Man! don't torture ME! I am a god. You'll blame yourself hereafter If you touch ME. AEAC. Hillo! What's that you are saying? DIO. I say I'm Bacchus, son of Zeus, a god, Anid _he's_ the slave. AEAC. You hear him? XAN. Hear him? Yes. All the more reason you should flog him well. For if he is a god, he won't perceive it. DIO. Well, but you say that you're a god yourself. So why not _you_ be flogged as well as I? XAN. A fair proposal. And be this the test, Whichever of us two you first behold Flinching or crying out--he's not the god. AEAC. Upon my word you're quite the gentleman, You're all for right and justice. Strip then, both. XAN. How can you test us fairly? AEAC. Easily, I'll give you blow for blow. XAN. A good idea. We're ready! Now! (_Aeacus strikes him_), see if you catch me flinching. AEAC. I struck you. XAN. (_Incredulously_.) No! ABAC Well, it seems "no," indeed. Now then I'll strike the other (_Strikes DIO_.). DIO. Tell me when? AEAC. I struck you. DIO. Struck me? Then why didn't I sneeze? AEAC. Don't know, I'm sure. I'll try the other again. XAN. And quickly too. Good gracious! AEAC. Why "good gracious"? Not hurt you, did I? XAN. No, I merely thought of The Diomeian feast of Heracles. AEAC. A holy man! 'Tis now the other's turn. DIO. Hi! Hi! AEAC. Hallo! DIO. Look at those horsemen, look! AEAC. But why these tears? DIO. There's such a smell of onions. AEAC. Then you don't mind it? DIO. (_Cheerfully_.) Mind it? Not a bit. AEAC. Well, I must go to the other one again. XAN. O! O! AEAC. Hallo! XAN. Do pray pull out this thorn. AEAC. What does it mean? 'Tis this one's turn again. DIO. (_Shrieking_.) Apollo! Lord! (_Calmly_) of Delos and of Pytho. XAN. He flinched! You heard him? DIO. Not at all; a jolly Verse of Hipponax flashed across my mind. XAN. You don't half do it: cut his flanks to pieces. AEAC. By Zeus, well thought on. Turn your belly here. DIO. (_Screaming_.) Poseidon! XAN. There! he's flinching. DIO. (Singing) who dost reign Amongst the Aegean peaks and creeks And o'er the deep blue main. AEAC. No, by Demeter, still I can't find out Which is the god, but come ye both indoors; My lord himself and Persephassa there, Being gods themselves, will soon find out the truth. DIO. Right! right! I only wish you had thought of that Before you gave me those tremendous whacks.