The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Formerly Dove, but now Athelstane the Saxon," said Toney. "He is a
knight of great prowess, and has royal blood in his veins."
"And the other little man standing in front of the black horse, who is
he?" asked Rosabel.
"Why, that is Bliss," said the widow.
"No longer Bliss," said Toney, "but the accomplished and gallant Maurice
de Bracy."
"And Ned Botts and Sam Perch," said the widow, "who have they become?"
"Those two gentlemen," said Toney, "have selected their designations
from localities to which they are strongly attached and desire to honor
by their valorous deeds of knighthood. Mr. Botts, who formerly resided
in a village where each householder was required by an immemorial custom
to keep at least six of the canine species, whose barking and howling at
night were supposed to be good for persons afflicted with typhoid fever,
calls himself the Knight of Cunopolis."
"Cunopolis!" said Ida. "Oh, what a pretty name!"
"It is composed of two Greek words," said the Professor.
"What is the signification?" asked Rosabel.
"Dog Town," said the Professor.
"Dog Town! Oh, horrid!" said Ida.
"Mr. Botts is the Knight of Cunopolis, or Dog Town," said Toney.
"And Perch?" asked the widow.
"The father of that young man," said Toney, "had heard that N. P.
Willis, while residing in Wyoming Valley, had named his place Glenmary
in compliment to his wife, and in honor of his own wife has named his
place Glenbetsy. So Perch is the valorous Knight of Glenbetsy."
"Glenmary is a very beautiful name," said Ida.
"And so is Glenbetsy," said the Professor.
"Tastes may differ," said Toney.
"Mr. Belton," said the widow, "what is Barney Bates doing there--holding
that horse?"
"He is esquire to Richard Plantagenet," said Toney. "Each one of those
boys is esquire to a gallant knight, and holds his horse until the
champion is ready to mount."
"Barney is a bad boy," said the widow.
"Indeed, he is a bad boy!" said Rosabel.
"The only harm I ever knew Barney to do," said Toney, "was to turn a
tavern-keeper's sign upside down, and when Boniface came out in the
morning, he beheld an Irishman standing on his head before the door
trying to read the letters which were inverted."
"He tied bells to my horse's tail," said the widow.
"He did worse than that," said Rosabel.
"What was it?" said Toney.
"Why," said Rosabel, "some pious people were engaged in holding a
prayer-meeting, and he tied a bundle of firecrackers behind an unlucky
cur and applied a torch."
"Oh, I recollect!" said Toney, laughing. "The demented dog ran into the
midst of the meeting, carrying terror and confusion wherever he went.
The worthy minister said that he saw the hand of Satan in this trick;
and ever since that time Barney has been supposed, by good people, to
act by the instigation of that great designer of mischief."
"That boy will play some trick on those knights," said the widow.
"Why, mother," said Rosabel, "how can he? They have him right before
their eyes."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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