The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
Tom told Toney his secret. He had walked with Ida in the Widow Wild's
garden, and had told the young lady how---- But this ought not to be
repeated. He and Ida had exchanged vows of eternal fidelity, and Miss
Somers had promised to become Mrs. Seddon at some future period not yet
clearly designated. This was a profound secret between Toney and Tom,
and the latter was confident that the Professor did not even guess at
it, as was evident from the very grave manner with which he remarked, as
they came where he stood,--
"Toney, it is about time for me to go home and prepare for the
exhibition. You will be there to-night?"
"Yes, Tom and I will be there, and bring the ladies."
The Professor proceeded to his lodging, while Toney and Tom walked to
the residence of the Widow Wild, and sat on the porch with Rosabel and
Ida.
Joseph Boneskull, the learned phrenologist, was to make a public
examination of heads, and, as a sort of afterpiece, the Professor had
promised to make some experiments in biology. This he did merely as an
amateur, and for the entertainment of his friends. The profits of the
exhibition inured to the benefit of Boneskull.
There was a large crowd gathered in the town hall of Mapleton. Toney
and Tom escorted Ida, Rosabel, and the widow to the exhibition, and
secured for them comfortable seats.
"Who is that little man seated on the platform?" asked Rosabel.
"That is the phrenologist," said Toney.
"What is that thing on the table before him?" asked Rosabel.
"The phrenologist informed me that it was the skull of a distinguished
negro lawyer of Timbuctoo," said Toney.
"It looks like a sheep's head," said the widow.
Boneskull now arose and made a few remarks, tending to show what
important results the science of phrenology was destined to produce;
saying that in the administration of justice the guilt or innocence of
parties accused of crimes could be ascertained with certainty by an
inspection of their craniums; that men could thus know what occupation
or calling they should pursue, and whom they should marry; remarking,
with emphasis, that no gentleman should venture upon matrimony until he
had first made a critical examination of the young lady's head.
"What's that he says?" asked the widow.
"Why, mother, he says that gentlemen should examine young ladies' heads
when they court them," said Rosabel.
"If I were a young lady," said the widow, "I would like to see any man
come pawing about my head."
Tom looked at Ida, and Ida blushed, and Tom was satisfied and willing to
venture on matrimony without an examination of that beautiful head
covered with long and luxuriant tresses.
"What is Mr. Pate going to do?" asked Rosabel, as Pate took a seat on
the platform.
"He has presented himself for examination," said Toney.
The phrenologist carefully manipulated the big bald head before him, and
then exclaimed, with enthusiasm,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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