The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
Moses now wisely determined to pass away without any unnecessary
suffering. He supposed that on the shelves of the apothecary, in
Mapleton, were potent drugs which would put him in a condition of
somnolency, during which he could easily glide out of this sublunary
state of existence. So he proceeded to the town, and having procured the
proper material for his purpose, was hurrying homeward with deadly
intent, when he inadvertently ran against a man who was standing in the
street reading a newspaper to a crowd of people. The rapidity with which
Moses was walking caused him to collide with great force, and nearly
overthrew the reader of the paper. The man turned round, and, grasping
Moses by the collar, shook him fiercely.
"I beg pardon!" exclaimed Moses, aroused, by the rude shaking he had
received, to a consciousness of his surroundings,--"I beg pardon! I did
not see."
"Did not see!" said the man. "Where are your eyes that you can't see a
whole crowd of people?"
"I beg pardon!" reiterated Moses, meekly.
"It is granted; but mind how you walk next time!" And with this
admonition, the man resumed the reading of the paper, as follows:
"Immense discoveries in the placers! Captain M. reported to have already
fifteen barrels buried!"
"Fifteen barrels of what?" asked Moses of a man standing near him, and
who happened to be M. T. Pate.
"Fifteen barrels of gold!" said Pate.
"Of what?"
"Of gold."
"Have they discovered gold near Mapleton?"
"No--no--not here."
"Where, then?"
"In California. Have you not heard the news? The papers have been full
of the accounts for the last three weeks. Where have you been living?"
"At home."
"And not heard of the gold discoveries! People are digging out gold-dust
by the barrel. In a week a man can become as rich as John Jacob Astor.
We have formed a company and are going to California as soon as the ship
is ready to sail."
"I would like to go," said Moses.
"You can join our company."
"I will go," said Moses.
"Come along with me," said Pate. And he conducted his recruit to a room
where several members of his company were assembled. Here Moses was
introduced to Wiggins, Love, and Dove, and a long and earnest
conversation ensued; after which Moses signed a paper purporting to be
the constitution of a mining association; to which were already
subscribed the names of the persons present, and also of Messrs Botts,
Perch, and Bliss.
"When does the ship sail?" asked Moses.
"In about a week," said Wiggins.
"We leave Mapleton to-morrow," said Pate. "We must be in the city to
make arrangements for the voyage."
"I wish we were off," said Moses. "I will go home and bid my father
farewell, and come here to-night."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account