The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
The three little men now held a hurried consultation, and were
unanimously in favor of matrimony, when Gideon opened the door.
"Your ten minutes are out," said Gideon.
"We have agreed to be married," said Love.
"Very good," said Gideon. "The parson is waiting in the front room, and
I have the three licenses in my pocket. Which one do you marry?"
"Cleopatra," said Love.
Gideon went to the door opening into the back room, and unlocking it,
put his head through and uttered a few words. Cleopatra came forth,
blushing.
"Stand up!" said Gideon to Love.
Love arose from his seat trembling from head to foot.
"Take her arm," said Gideon. "That's right. Now, come along!"
Gideon opened the door, and Love walked with Cleopatra into the front
room, where stood the parson with his book open ready to make them man
and wife. In a very brief space of time Love and Cleopatra were united
in the holy bands of matrimony. The parson looked as if he expected to
see the happy man salute his bride; but Love was unable to reach up, and
Cleopatra did not bend down, and so this formality was not observed. The
wedded pair walked into the back parlor, followed by Gideon, who turned
to Dove and said,--
"Whom do you marry?"
"Theodosia, if you please," said Dove, with meek resignation.
At the summons of Gideon, Theodosia appeared and was united to Dove, and
then Sophonisba was married to Bliss. Mrs. Foot then rushed from the
back room and fondly embraced her daughters, and also her three little
sons.
"There, now," said Gideon, "we are through with the business. Are the
carriages at the door?" asked he of Hercules, who went out to ascertain
if they had arrived.
"We will go home in the next train," said Gideon.
"Can't we go to California?" whimpered Love.
"No," said Gideon, "of course not. You must go home with your wives."
"And be happy," said Mrs. Foot.
"Hercules is going to California," said Gideon. "He can dig gold enough
for the whole family."
Hercules was standing in the street before the door, when Pate and
Wiggins approached him.
"Have you seen Mr. Love?" asked Pate.
"He is in there," said Hercules, pointing to the house.
"And Dove and Bliss?" said Pate.
"In there with Love," said Hercules.
"We have been looking for them," said Wiggins.
"The ship will sail in a few hours, and they should be on board," said
Pate.
"I don't think they are going," said Hercules.
"Not going!" exclaimed Pate.
"I think not," said Hercules.
Two carriages were now driven up, and stopped in front of the house.
The door opened, and out came Love hanging on the arm of Cleopatra.
"Mr. Love! Mr. Love!" exclaimed Pate, "the ship is about to sail and you
should be on board. Come with us."
"I can't go; I am married," said Love, with a look of despair.
"Come along!" said Cleopatra. And she and her little husband entered one
of the carriages.
"Good heavens!" ejaculated Pate.
"Married!" exclaimed Wiggins.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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