The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
In the mean while the vessel, borne along by the breeze, kept steadily
on her way, and the little cloud loomed larger on the horizon, and
gradually grew more and more distinct. The almost imperceptible shade
deepened into a substantial blue, and finally brightened into a
beautiful green, and Cape Frio became plainly visible.
The prospect of soon getting on shore caused much excitement in the
cabin, after supper, and considerable conviviality.
After partaking of several glasses of wine, the Professor turned to
Toney and Tom, and gravely remarked,--
"We are informed, by the highest authority on the subject, that there
is a very great difference between _ebrius_ and _ebriolus_. It is not
becoming in one of the Funny Philosophers to be anything more than
_ebriolus_. Let us leave these devotees of Bacchus to their orgies in
honor of the god of the grape, and go upon deck."
"Come!" said Toney. "I have no wish to carry a headache on shore with me
to-morrow."
"Nor I," said Tom, ascending the companion-ladder.
They walked forward until they came to the cook's galley, when the
Professor stopped suddenly and exclaimed, pointing to a hog which had
been butchered and hung up with its head downward,--
"Here has been a bloody deed!"
"Not a homicide?" said Toney.
"No; a suicide," said Tom.
"Let your puns be in plain English," said the Professor.
"Latin puns are too obscure," said Toney.
"Mr. Seddon must atone for this offense by doing penance," said the
Professor.
"In what way?" asked Tom.
"You must immediately climb into the rigging and run a rope around the
foretop-gallant yard," said the Professor.
"What's your purpose?" asked Toney.
"To suspend this deceased porker from the masthead," said the Professor.
"We will have fun," said Tom.
"Fun is the true philosophy of life," said the Professor.
Tom did as directed, and in a few moments the porker rapidly ascended
and was lashed to the masthead. The Professor then walked to the bow,
where was seated Old Nick, telling a wonderful yarn to Tim, who was
smoking his pipe.
"On the Gold Coast six months. The niggers brought us gold-dust in
quills. One day their duke died."
"Have the negroes dukes among them?" asked Toney.
"Their head-man. They put all his wives and slaves in a pen."
"What for?" asked Tom.
"To knock them on the head and bury them with the duke. Never heard such
howling. One nigger jumped over the pen, ran down to the shore, and swam
to the ship. They came around in canoes after him. Captain told me to
throw him overboard. Had to obey orders. They took him ashore and
knocked him on the head with clubs. Next night I was on the beach.
Something jumped right up before me and grinned in my face. Looked like
the big nigger I had pitched overboard."
"I thought they had knocked him on the head," said Toney.
"His ghost. It gave a whoop and jumped clean over my head, and then
jumped back again."
"Like a circus-rider," said Tom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account