The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
On the following morning the Professor, in company with his three
friends and M. T. Pate, walked forth into the Square. As they passed in
front of the Palace, the negro sentinel, with a staid demeanor, was
pacing to and fro, while squads of his sable comrades lounged around,
like lazy black dogs, basking in the sun.
"Look at that gigantic American standing among the Brazilian soldiers
who seem like pigmies by comparison," said the midshipman.
"It is Hercules," said the Professor.
"Or Goliath of Gath," said the midshipman. "Do you know him?"
"He came out in our ship," said Toney.
"If your captain carried many such giants on board, I wonder that he had
a spare porker to hang at his masthead."
"Hercules seems to be on terms of intimacy with those _black guards_ of
the House of Braganza," said Toney.
"No punning now, if you please; we are on land," said the Professor.
"But on foreign land, where the points of our puns cannot be perceived
by the natives," said Toney.
"Your apology is perfectly satisfactory," said the Professor.
"Let us see what Hercules is going to do," said Tom Seddon.
They approached, and stood in close proximity to the tail of his coat.
He had taken a musket from the hands of a grinning Brazilian of African
descent, and, pointing to the flint lock, with a sagacious shake of his
noddle, informed him that he was far behind the age; at the same time
expatiating on the manifest superiority of the percussion principle. To
the instruction of this able tactician the soldiers, although unable to
comprehend a word of English, seemed to be listening with profound
attention, when a loud laugh from Toney and Tom interrupted this
morning's first lesson.
In the course of their wandering through the town they came to a
navy-yard, where they saw several vessels in an interesting condition of
rottenness. While examining these hulks, an astonishing confusion of
tongues was heard in their rear; and, turning around, they beheld a
fellow as black as Beelzebub, who wore an officer's uniform and was
endeavoring to hold a colloquy with M. T. Pate, who listened and replied
with an amiable condescension; but, as neither understood a word that
was addressed to him, the utterance of each was an enigma to the other.
The Professor winked at Toney, and then gravely remarked, "Mr. Pate,
this negro is doubtless begging for a dump,"--a huge copper coin of the
value of several cents, which the Brazilians have invented for the
convenience of commerce.
Pate, who in his own country was of Southern birth and accustomed to
negroes solely in a menial capacity, drew forth a ponderous dump from
his pocket, and bestowing it upon the officer of his Imperial Majesty
with a benevolent smile, went on his way, leaving the object of his
benefaction astounded by this evidence of his generosity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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