The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
He was about to order the men to row back to the shore when he
recollected the danger which there awaited him. He was between Scylla
and Charybdis. In the mean while the Brazilian boatmen, who, with their
backs towards the ship and their ignorance of the English language,
neither witnessed the startling phenomenon nor understood the meaning of
Pate's exclamation, vigorously plied their oars, and soon brought the
boat to the vessel's side. Pale with terror and trembling in every
joint, Pate looked up and beheld a number of passengers on deck laughing
immoderately. Their mirth convinced him that no tragedy had been
enacted, and he went on board where he learned that Hercules had been
captured on shore and brought alongside lying in the boat in a helpless
condition superinduced by inebriation. A perplexing consultation among
his captors was cut short by Old Nick, who, having made ready a rope,
leaped into the boat, and putting a stout band around the body of the
giant, hooked on,--and up he went, with his imperfectly articulated
maledictions mingling with the hearty "Heave ho!" of Peter and Paul, who
were hoisting him on deck.
Thus was Hercules held up as an example to all evildoers; and when the
Professor reached the ship, and was informed of the circumstance, he
gravely remarked that men who were so imprudent as to indulge in the
excessive use of strong drinks would sometimes become wonderfully
elevated.
CHAPTER XLI.
The mortification of M. T. Pate at having been compelled to leave the
Brazilian Empire as an absconding debtor was intense, and he was now
teased and tormented by his comrades in the most unmerciful manner.
They told him that as soon as his ruthless creditor discovered his
flight he would apply to the Emperor for redress, who would dispatch a
swift-sailing man-of-war to capture him; and that he would be carried
back and imprisoned in the calaboose until he had paid the last dump of
the debt. Whenever a sail hove in sight, some one would cry out, "There
comes the Brazilian vessel in pursuit of Pate;" when all would advise
him to secrete himself in the hold of the ship, and said that they would
inform the captain of the man-of-war that he had unfortunately fallen
overboard when off Cape Frio.
He was so worried by these pitiless jokes that he became misanthropic,
and finally refused to associate with any of the passengers. He would
leave the cabin, where at night there were usually much fun and
merriment, and where he was sure to be the butt of some cruel jest, and,
going upon deck, would seat himself upon a stool and brood in solitude
over his misery, until he was in a sound sleep.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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