The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Will nobody go to her rescue?" said Toney.
"Yonder comes her avenger!" said the Professor, as a man on foot
advanced, with one hand brandishing a dart having a small streamer
attached to it, and shaking a red flag with the other. The bull,
indignant at the insult, came at him with a bound, when, nimbly leaping
aside, he planted his missile in the flank of his foe, and the
infuriated animal charged on another assailant with similar results.
Soon his sides were covered with little javelins, each having a gaudy
pennon on its end waving in the wind. He fought with pluck and
determination, but evidently at a disadvantage; for his antagonists,
when hard pressed, would retreat behind a circular palisade of posts,
whither he could not follow them. Making a charge on one of the
buzzards, however, he tore off a wing before the clumsy bird could get
out of the way. The disgusting fowl uttered a loud squall, such as was
never heard from one of its species before.
"The poor fairy has lost one of his pinions," said Tom.
"He will not be able to soar away to his home in the Andes after he has
dined," said Toney.
"The cavalry are about to take part in the engagement," said the
Professor, as the horsemen galloped around and added to the torments of
the animal by pricking him with their lances.
"He fights _manfully_," said Tom.
"Mr. Seddon," said the Professor, "be so good as to keep your Irish
bulls in the background. You should not venture to introduce them among
Spanish cattle."
"He exhibits great courage against overwhelming odds," said Toney.
"But, as has been asked on numerous occasions, what can a single hero do
against a host?" said the Professor.
"What is that big man going to do with his long knife?" asked Moses, as
a stalwart fellow, armed with a short, straight sword, advanced on foot
and fixed his gaze on his victim. With eyes wildly rolling, and red
torrents of blood streaming from his wounds, the bull moved towards this
new antagonist, with his head to the ground, hoping to toss him on his
horns. But the wily matadore, with a dexterous thrust, pierced the spine
of the neck, and the agonies of the animal were over. Hardly had he
fallen when the four buzzards rushed forward and commenced pecking at
the carcass.
"The fairies are hungry," said the Professor, turning round and speaking
to Moses.
"The one-winged gentleman seems determined to have his share of the
feast," said Toney.
"Look! look!" cried Tom Seddon, as up went a rocket and in came six
white horses splendidly harnessed, by whose united strength the
mutilated body of the bull was dragged out at a gallop, to make room for
another victim.
"Look at yonder fellow riding his horse around the arena, with his side
gored open and torrents of blood gushing from the ghastly wound!" said
Toney.
"This is pretty sport, but I think that I will put an end to it," said
the Professor to Toney, in a low and confidential tone.
"That is impossible," said Toney.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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