The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
They now hurried on; Toney, Tom, and the Professor leading the advance,
and when about half-way between Lima and Callao, they espied a curious
kind of cavalry coming up the road. It was the ship's company ashore on
liberty and making the most of that inestimable blessing. Each jolly tar
was mounted on a little donkey, and at the head of the cavalcade rode
Old Nick, having a leadline in his hand; and this steady and experienced
seaman, apprehensive of shoals or hidden rocks, kept constantly heaving
the lead and calling out the number of fathoms each time that it fell.
Once he was heard to cry out "No bottom!" and down went his donkey in a
hole; but the dauntless navigator assured his shipmates that, though the
little craft had her lee-rail under, she would soon right up without
losing a stick of her timber; and the result was just as he had said.
"Where is Pate?" asked the Professor.
"Yonder he is," said Toney, pointing to Pate, about a quarter of a mile
behind, mounted on the back of Hercules, with Wiggins walking on one
side and Perch on the other; Botts and Moses bringing up the rear.
"Hercules is carrying him over the stony road," said Tom.
"The giant has a big body and a big heart," said the Professor; "but he
shall not be treated like a beast of burden. Pate shall ride Old Nick's
donkey."
"Old Nick will not give up his donkey," said Toney.
"We will see," said the Professor. And he advanced near the spot where
the huge sailor sat on the little animal with his feet touching the
ground. Just at that moment Old Nick gave the bridle a jerk.
"Oh--oh! You hurt! Get off my back, you drunken lubber!" exclaimed a
voice issuing from the mouth of the beast. Old Nick leaped off and fled
down the road.
"Avast there!" cried Tim.
"Hush up, you old fool! you are drunk too!" said Tim's donkey. The
sailor rolled off.
"Get off my back!" exclaimed another donkey.
"Get off! get off! you ought all to be hung at the yard-arm for mutiny!"
shouted each donkey in succession. With wild yells of terror, the
sailors fled down the road to Callao, ran at full speed through the town
to the water's edge, leaped into a boat and went on board the vessel.
"Here, Mr. Pate, mount on this donkey," said the Professor, as Pate came
riding along on the back of Hercules. The Professor selected an animal
for himself, and he and Pate rode into Callao, and halted at the hotel,
where they had left their trunks when they had started for Lima.
At the hotel, Pate retired to a room and made his toilet; but when he
again appeared he was so teased and tormented by certain wicked wags
that he abruptly left the hotel and rushed into the street. He was seen
no more. The passengers went on board and the ship was ready to sail.
The captain went on shore and made inquiry for Pate. Nothing could be
heard of him, and, after losing several days in a fruitless search, the
ship finally put to sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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