The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Let us go ashore and dine at the Astor House," said the Professor.
They went on shore, but were unable to find the hotel designated, and
made a meal on elk meat, in a tent kept by a one-eyed Hibernian; after
which they again proceeded up the river until about the middle of the
night, when they lashed to the tulas on the bank, and lay in the bottom
of the boat, sometimes snoring and at other times fighting the
mosquitoes.
In the morning they hoisted sail, and in so doing Moses fell over the
bow of the boat and was hauled in at the stern. After Moses had thus
performed his ablutions, they sailed on until about ten o'clock, when
Tom Seddon exclaimed, "This river is as crooked as the track of a snake!
What mountain is that? It sometimes seems on the larboard, and sometimes
on the starboard."
"That is Mount Diablo, I suppose, from the description I have had of
it," said the Professor.
"The Devil's Mountain," said Tom.
"In plain English, the Devil's Mountain," said the Professor.
"I never was so hungry; I could eat a bear," said Tom.
"Better eat a bear than that a bear should eat you," said the Professor.
"I will starve before we get to Stockton," said Tom. "Let us go on shore
and shoot some game."
"Agreed!" said Toney. And they ran in along shore, and, fastening their
boat to the bough of a tree, landed and proceeded through the tulas in
the direction of Mount Diablo. When they had gone about a mile they
reached an open space surrounded with thickets. Here they halted, and
were gazing around in search of game, when Tom Seddon suddenly
exclaimed, "Look! look!"
About two hundred paces from where they stood a man rushed out from the
thicket, and behind him came forth a huge and ferocious monster
apparently in pursuit. The hideous beast ran after the man, and striking
him with its nose under the tail of his coat hurled him headforemost
about twenty feet. The man fell on his hands and knees, and the monster
stood still and gazed at him intently.
"The devil!" exclaimed Tom Seddon.
"From Mount Diablo," said the Professor.
"It is a grizzly bear," said Toney.
"Gracious!" exclaimed Moses.
"That fellow had better run," said Tom.
"He has taken your advice," said the Professor.
"The bear is after him again," said Toney.
"Great thunder! I would as soon be shot out of a cannon!" shouted Tom
Seddon, as the huge creature thrust its nose under the man's coat and
propelled him forward with prodigious velocity. The man again fell on
his hands and knees, and the beast stood still and regarded him with a
steadfast look.
"The bear is waiting for him to get up," said Tom.
"That's right," said the Professor. "Never strike a man when he is
down."
"He is on his feet again," said Tom, as the man sprang up and commenced
running.
"And the bear is at him again," said Toney, as the eccentric monster
rushed at the man and hurled him headlong with tremendous force.
"Jupiter Tonans!" exclaimed Tom. "That was a settler."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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