The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
After an interchange of salutations, Dove, who was a little man, about
five feet three inches in height, most elaborately dressed, tapped the
toe of his highly polished French boot with an elegant cane, so fragile
that it seemed to have been constructed for the purpose of beating off
butterflies and other annoying insects, and then asked after M. T. Pate,
and inquired the way to the hotel. Having received satisfactory
information from Toney in response to his inquiries, he took Love by the
arm, and, followed by Bliss, proceeded up the street.
"Those are pretty little men," said the Professor, looking after them
with a peculiar expression of fun lurking around the corner of his mouth
and twinkling in his eye. "What did you say their names were?"
"Love, Dove, and Bliss," said Toney.
"Love and Dove are the two who have their wings locked together?" asked
the Professor.
"Yes," said Toney. "And Bliss is walking behind."
"That is a proper programme," said the Professor.
"When Love and Dove go together, Bliss should always accompany them."
"Now, Tom," said Toney, "you have seen the whole seven."
"The whole seven!" said the Professor. "Who are they?"
"The Seven Sweethearts," said Toney.
"The Seven Sweethearts!" exclaimed the Professor.
"An organization," said Toney, "which originated in Mapleton, and now
has numerous ramifications all over the country."
"Indeed!" said the Professor. "I have traveled much but never heard of
such an organization until now."
"Then you would like to know something about the Mystic Order of Seven
Sweethearts?" said Seddon.
"Very much," said the Professor. "I am compiling a new work on zoology,
and will devote a chapter to the species of animal you have mentioned."
"Toney will give you a history of the origin and objects of the
organization," said Tom.
"With the greatest pleasure," said Toney. "But come, let us light our
cigars and take seats on yonder bench under the trees and make ourselves
comfortable."
The three friends proceeded to the spot designated, and while the
fragrant smoke was rolling off from their cigars, Toney gave an account
of the Mystic Brotherhood, such as Seddon had already been made
acquainted with; following it up with a recital of the events which had
recently transpired in the town of Bella Vista; including a graphic
description of the combat between Botts and the monkey in the ball-room;
the contemplated duel between Botts and Bragg, and its singular
termination; the terrible quarrel between the latter and the landlord,
and the expulsion of the valiant captain from the hotel; the abortive
attempt of Perch to commit suicide, and the scenes that ensued up to the
time of the arrival of Tickle. The Professor listened with grave
interest, and occasionally made a note in a little book which he drew
from his pocket and held in his hand. When Toney had concluded, he
exclaimed,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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