The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Did you not hear a voice issuing from the mouth of the corpse and
proclaiming the name of the murderer?" exclaimed Bragg.
"Impossible!" said Seddon.
"By no means impossible," said the Professor. "Shakspeare, who is good
authority on all such subjects, tells us that
Stones have been known to move and trees to speak;
Auguries and understood relations have,
By magot-pies and choughs and rooks, brought forth
The secret'st man of blood."
"True, Mr. Tickle," said Bragg. "And as sure as yonder sun is shining in
the heavens I heard a voice issuing from that monkey's mouth and
proclaiming Botts to be the murderer!"
"Botts could prove an alibi," said Toney. "He has gone back to
Mapleton."
"The conscience-stricken villain!" exclaimed Bragg. "He has imbrued his
hands in innocent blood and then fled. I will follow him to the ends of
the earth!" And Bragg started off as if in pursuit of the murderer.
"Captain!" shouted Seddon, "What will you do with the corpse?"
"Bury it," said Bragg, coming back,--"and then I will seek out that
villain Botts."
Accompanied by the boys, Bragg proceeded to bury his monkey.
"That man is insane," said the Professor.
"All excitable people are insane at times," said Toney.
"Bragg has monkey-mania," said Tom.
"And pseudomania," said Toney.
"His lies are harmless," said Seddon.
"And amusing," said Toney. "Bragg can beat Baron Munchausen."
"That was an amusing story he told about his residence in Africa among
those long-tailed gentlemen," said Seddon.
"What was that?" asked the Professor.
Here Tom gave an account of Bragg's residence in Africa as related by
himself.
"The man is demented," said the Professor. "But do you think he will go
after Botts?"
"As sure as his name is Bragg," said Toney. "Yonder he comes now."
Bragg was seen walking towards them rapidly, carrying a carpet-bag.
"Good-by, gentlemen!" said he, hurrying along.
"Are you going, captain?" said Toney. "When will you return?"
"As soon as I have settled with that villain Botts. Good-by!"
Bragg hurried to the railway. A train of cars was just ready to start.
"All aboard!" shouted the conductor, and the train moved off. Bragg
seated himself with an ominous frown on his brow, for he was thinking of
Botts. Immediately in front of him sat a man who had a large bundle by
his side. The cars soon stopped at another station. The man got up and
went out, leaving his bundle behind.
"Here, my man, you have left your bundle!" exclaimed Bragg.
The man made no answer, but had disappeared. The whistle sounded and the
train was moving off, Bragg jumped up and threw the bundle out the
window. It was picked up by a ragged loafer, who ran off with it. Just
then the man re-entered the car.
"Where is my bundle?" exclaimed he.
"That man threw it out the window," said a passenger, pointing to Bragg.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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