"Goldsmith never wrote anything like that," said Seddon. "Nor Tennyson, neither," said Toney. "Tennyson be hanged!" exclaimed Tom. "I'll match Tickle against him any day." "The composition of this poem fully developed my poetical genius," said the Professor. "I discovered that I could be a bard; and so I composed a whole book of poems." "What did you do with it?" asked Toney. "I published it," said the Professor. "Did you never hear of it?" "I must candidly admit that I never did," said Toney. "The critics cut and slashed away at my little book for about a month; and then they let it alone. It was not until several years after its publication that I heard a word in its praise; and that was under peculiar circumstances. I was looking over a lot of second-hand books on a stall at the corner of a street, when I discovered my own poems. I asked the price. The man said it was a work of rare genius and very scarce, but that as a favor I could have it for a dollar. This sounded like posthumous praise, and was very flattering. So I bought the book, and you can read it at your leisure." "Now we are on literary subjects," said Seddon, "I must remind Toney of his promise to read his biography of Pate." "Of whom?" asked the Professor. "Of M. T. Pate, the illustrious founder of the Mystic Order of Seven Sweethearts," said Seddon. "Toney has written his biography." "Only one chapter," said Toney. "I can clearly foresee that Pate is destined to become a very distinguished man. As he makes materials for his biography the work will progress. The first chapter has been written." "Read it," said Tom. "Read it! read it!" exclaimed the Professor. CHAPTER XX. In compliance with the wishes of his two friends, Toney drew from a trunk his manuscript, and laying it on a table before him, said, "You will perceive, gentlemen, that in my first chapter of this biography I speak of Pate as an eminent personage. This requires a word of explanation. Pate may not yet be considered as a very eminent man, but before the completion and publication of the work I am confident that he will rank among the most distinguished personages of the age; and that the adjective which I have used will then be recognized as strictly appropriate." With these prefatory remarks, Toney proceeded to read as follows: