The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"It is not a pun," said Toney. "It is the serious remark of a very
learned lawyer. Lamb is a meek old lawyer in Mapleton, remarkable for
his modesty. For many years he contented himself with a lucrative
chamber practice, and never attempted to address a court or jury. But on
one occasion a favorite negro servant of the lawyer was indicted for
cutting off a bull's tail. Lamb undertook to defend him before a jury.
He arose with much trepidation; his voice faltered; he could not
articulate a word. A profuse perspiration bathed his brow, and he took
out his handkerchief and wiped his face. There was some ugly unguent on
the handkerchief, and it left a black spot on his brow.
"'Look at old Lamb's face,' said a young attorney, in a loud whisper.
"'It is--lam'black!' said another.
"The twelve jurors in the box grinned. Lamb shook from head to foot. He
grew desperate, and, in a loud voice, exclaimed, 'Gentlemen of the jury,
the prisoner is indicted for cutting off a bull's tail. What--what----'
There was an awkward pause.
"'He was going to ask what should be done with the bull,' whispered a
young limb of the law.
"'Sell him at wholesale--you can't retail him,' said another attorney,
in a whisper so loud as to be distinctly audible.
"The jury were convulsed with laughter, which so increased the agitation
of the advocate that he shook like an aspen, and finally dropped into
his seat and covered his face with his handkerchief. The judge rapped
with his gavel, and repressing the merriment which pervaded the
court-room, told the counselor to proceed with his argument. But he
could not utter another word. Some days afterwards as Lamb sat in his
office, lamenting his infirmity to a friend, he said that the older he
grew, the more sheepish he became."
"Your explanation is perfectly satisfactory," said the Professor,
gravely. "Resume the reading of Pate's biography."
Toney read on:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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