The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
Bull, who had been deprived of his spectacles in his desperate encounter
with Bear, was nearly blind, and going into the wrong room had
approached the bed. Tom was snoring. Bull felt his pulse. "Symptoms of
apoplexy!" exclaimed Bull. "A decided change for the worse! He must be
immediately depleted or the attack may be fatal!" Bull got a basin,
rolled up Tom's sleeve, took out a lancet and sprung it. The blood
spirted, and Tom jumped up and knocked Bull down.
All this was explained after Tom's arm had been bound up by the
Professor; Bull being too much disabled by the blow and his fall to
render any assistance.
"The doctor has amply apologized," said Toney.
"By Jove! does such an outrage admit of an apology?" said Tom, looking
at Bull with savage ferocity.
"My dear sir, it was a mistake! I thought it was Jones!" said the
doctor, making for the door.
"Good-by, doctor!" said Toney. "You have let the bad blood out of him,
and he will soon be in a better disposition."
Bull hastily departed with both eyes in a damaged condition.
"He has had my blood and I would like to have his," said Tom.
"Mr. Seddon, you should cultivate a more benign disposition," said the
Professor. "Bull practiced phlebotomy on you with the best intentions."
"And now, Tom, I must leave you," said Toney, as Cæsar and Hannibal
entered the room to carry his trunks to the railway.
"Are you going?" said Tom.
"Must go," said Toney. "I have to prepare for the great case of Simon
Rump vs. The Salt-Water Canal Company. I leave Charley with you, who
will attend to your wound, and when it has healed you and he come to
Mapleton and hear the argument of my distinguished adversary M. T.
Pate."
Both promised to do so; and shaking hands with his two friends, Toney
went out and closed the door, but immediately opened it again and
said,--
"Tom, when you take another siesta, remember to bolt the door and keep
Bull out. Good-by!"
CHAPTER XXIV.
"Simon, my love," said Mrs. Rump, as she handed her affectionate spouse
a cup of coffee at breakfast, "what lawyer have you got to speak to the
jury in our great case against the Canal Company?"
"Why, my angel," said Simon, "I have got Mr. Pate, the great lawyer in
Mapleton."
"Is Mr. Pate the bald-headed man who sometimes reads the prayers in
church?" asked the angel.
"He is the man," said Simon.
"He must be a very good man," said the mother of the seven sweet little
cherubs.
"He is," said the lord of the mansion; "and he is also a very learned
man. He has more than a dozen books in his office as big as the Bible,
and he reads in them every day."
"Oh, my!" said Simon's angel. "No wonder he is bald! Reads all those big
books! What a heap he must know!"
"Indeed, he does," said Simon. "And he has promised to make a great
speech against the Canal Company, and get us a power of damages."
"How much?" inquired the angel.
"Thirty thousand dollars--not a cent less."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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