The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Ten dollars more," said the sheriff.
"Mr. Pate will pay the other ten dollars," said Simon.
"How so?" asked the sheriff.
"He was to get one-tenth of the money recovered," said Rump.
"Well?"
"As we have lost the case, he should pay one-tenth of the costs."
"That is strictly in accordance with the principles of law applicable to
copartnerships,--is it not, Mr. Seddon?" said the Professor.
"Certainly," said Tom; "profits and losses must be in proportion to the
interest which each partner has in the firm."
The sheriff thought otherwise, and Rump reluctantly paid the whole
amount; saying that he would sue M. T. Pate for the ten dollars paid on
his account. A few days afterwards he actually brought suit before
Justice Johnson, who rendered a judgment against M. T. Pate for ten
dollars and costs.
Simon Rump went home a melancholy man. As he entered his door he was met
by the mother of the cherubs, who threw her arms around his neck and
embraced him with connubial fondness.
"Oh, Simon, my love, I am so glad you have come back! There is a
brand-new carriage in Mapleton now offered for sale. It will just suit
us. Have they paid all the money? How much have you got?"
Simon Rump was silent.
"How much money have you brought home with you?" asked Simon's angel.
"Not one cent," said Simon, sadly. "I went away this morning with one
hundred dollars in my pocket-book, and now it is empty. I had to pay
some money for Mr. Pate."
"But Mr. Pate will pay it back to you out of the three thousand
dollars," said the angel.
"No he won't," said Simon.
"Yes he will," said the angel. "Mr. Pate is a good man. He reads the
prayers in church."
"I'll sue him," said Simon.
"What?"
"I'll sue M. T. Pate for ten dollars," said Simon, savagely.
"Sue your own lawyer?" exclaimed the mother of the cherubs. "Your own
lawyer, who has made a great speech, and gained our case?"
"He didn't gain our case,--he lost it."
"Lost our case?" screamed the angel. "Simon Rump, you don't mean to say
that Pate lost our case?"
"That's just what happened," said Simon Rump.
"Did he make a speech?"
"He made a speech, and then he ran away."
"What made him run away?"
"He got scared," said Simon.
"What did he say in his speech?"
"He talked to the jury about you, and me, and the children."
"What did Pate say about me?"
"He called you venerable."
"What?"
"He called you Simon Rump's venerable wife."
"Me? Me?"
"Yes, you," said Simon. "He called you venerable several times."
"Several times?"
"Yes, four or five times."
"Said so to the jury?"
"Yes."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing."
"Simon Rump, you are a brute!" said the angel.
"But, my duck," said Simon, "I could not----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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