245. "IT COSTS NOTHING," 766 246. A NATURAL POSITION, 792 247. AN UNNATURAL POSITION, 792 248. CORRECT POSITION, 796 249. INCORRECT POSITION, 796 250. HOW WASP WAISTS ARE MADE, 799 251. A CONSUMPTIVE WAIST, 800 252. NON-CONSUMPTIVE WAIST, 800 253. A HEALTHY POSITION, 804 254. POSITION OF ARTERY IN ARM, 811 255. COMPRESSING AN ARTERY IN ARM, 812 256. POSITION OF ARTERY IN LEG, 812 257. THE DOCTOR'S QUEUE, 816 I. MEDICAL HUMBUGS. _Marina._ ... Should I tell my history, 'Twould seem like lies disdained in the reporting. _Pericles._ Pray thee, speak.--_Shakspeare._ ORIGIN AND APPLICATION OF "HUMBUG."--A FIFTH AVENUE HUMBUG.--JOB'S OPINION OF DOCTORS.--EARLY PHYSICIANS.--PRIESTS AS DOCTORS.--WIZARDS COME TO GRIEF.--A "CAPITAL" OPERATION.--A WOMAN CUT INTO TWELVE PIECES.--ANECDOTE.--ROBIN HOOD'S LITTLE JOKE.--TIT FOR TAT.--ENGLISH HUMBUGS.--FRENCH DITTO.--A FORTUNE ON DIRTY WATER.--AMERICAN HUMBUGS.--A FIRST CLASS "DODGE."--A FREE RIDE.--A SHARP INTERROGATOR.--DOCTOR PUSBELLY.--A WICKED STAGE-DRIVER'S STORY.--"OLD PILGARLIC" TAKES A BATH.--LUDICROUS SCENE.--PROFESSOR BREWSTER. Medical humbugs began to exist with the first pretenders to the science of healing. Quacks originated at a much later period. So materially different are the two classes, that I am compelled to treat of them separately. The word _humbug_ is a corruption of _Hamburg_, Germany, and seems to have originated in London. The following episode is in illustration of both its origin and meaning:-- "O, Bridget, Bridget!" exclaimed the fashionable mistress of a brown stone front in Fifth Avenue, New York, to her surprised servant girl, "what have you been doing at the front door?" "Och, murther! Nothin', ma'am." "Nothing!" repeated the mistress. "Yes'm--that is--" stammered Bridget, greatly embarrassed. "What were you doing at the front door but a moment since?" "Nothin', ma'am, but spakin' to me cousin; he's a p'leeceman, ma'am, if ye plaze, ma'am," replied Bridget, dropping a low courtesy to the mistress. "No, no; I did not mean that. But haven't you been cleaning the door-knob and the bell-pull?" "Yes'm," replied Bridget, changing from embarrassment to surprise. "Why, Bridget, didn't I tell you never to polish the front door-knobs during the warm season? Now my friends will think that I have returned from Saratoga--" "And is it to Saratogy ye've been, ma'am?" exclaimed Bridget.