The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
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The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
The offices of priest and physician were united among the Jews, Heathens,
Greeks, Egyptians, and Romans. The Druids (from _draoi_, magician) ruled
and ruined the ancient Celts, Gauls, Britons, and Germans. The people of
these nations looked up to the priests as though life and death and
immortality hung only upon their lips. Among our aborigines we have also
examples of the double office of priest and "medicine man." And it is an
astonishing fact, that notwithstanding the ignorance of the pretenders to
healing, or the ridiculousness of the prescriptions, or the exorbitant
fees, the rabble of the age relied upon them with the most implicit
confidence. If the patient recovered, the priests--embodying the gods--had
restored them by their great skill and the favor of some particular
divinity, and so were worshipped, and again rewarded with other fees to
offer sacrifices to the individual god who was supposed to favor the
priest or wizard. If he died it was the will of the gods that it should so
be, and the friends lost none of their faith in the abilities of their
medical and spiritual advisers.
The priests could not be disposed of so easily as the witches and wizards
were supposed to have been, for they kept the people under greater fear,
and held the balance of power in their own hands. The only difference
between the priests and wizards was, that the former _claimed_ to exercise
their arts by the power of the gods, while the latter were said to be
assisted by the evil spirits. The priests claimed this in the times of
Christ, and tried to persuade the rabble that he was assisted by
Beelzebub. While the grasping priesthood professed poverty and
self-denial, they were continually enriching themselves by robberies and
extortions upon the ignorant and superstitious common people.
A mirth-provoking anecdote is told of Robin Hood and two friars, which we
cannot forbear relating here as illustrative of the above assertion. If
our readers regard stories from such a source as very uncertain, we have
only to reply that we are now dealing with "uncertainties."
"One day, Robin disguised himself as a friar, and went out on the highway.
Very soon he met two priests, to whom he appealed for charity in the
blessed Virgin's name.
"'That we would do, were it in our power,' they replied.
"'I fear you are so addicted to falsehood, I cannot believe that you have
no money, as you say. However, let us all down on our marrow bones, and
pray the Virgin to send us some money.'
"'No, no,' replied the priests; 'it is of no use.'
"'What! have you no faith in your patron saint? Down, I say, and pray.'
"In fear, down fell the two priests, and Robin by their side, and all
prayed most lustily.
"'Now feel in your pockets,' said Robin, rising.
"'There is nothing,' they replied, plunging their hands deep into their
cloaks.
"'Down again, and pray harder,' shouted Robin, drawing his sword.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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