The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
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The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
[Illustration: TEN YEARS LATER.]
With these thoughts I confidently knocked at the door. "Is Miss ---- at
home?" I inquired of the--servant, I supposed, who opened the door. Just
then three or four dirty-looking little children ran screaming after the
woman, calling out, "Marm, marm!"
"Hush, children, hush!" said the female, and, turning again to me, said,--
"Whom did you inquire for?" pushing back one of the red-headed urchins.
"Miss Mary ----, ma'am," I answered. "She once lived at Blue Hill."
She gave a sickly-looking smile. She looked sick before; her cheeks all
fallen in; her skimmed-milk colored eyes had a weary, anxious expression;
and her thin, bony hands, resting on the door-latch, looked like a
consumptive's, as she said,--
"When did you know her?"
"O, but a few years ago, ma'am. Is she here? Does she live in _this
house_?" I eagerly inquired.
"Well," she replied, with another more sepulchral smile,
"I was once Miss Mary ----. I married Mr. ---- ----, over ten years ago.
My baby, here,"--presenting the second in size of the children to my view,
a reddish-brown haired girl, quite unlike any one I had ever seen before,
and wiping its nose with her calico apron,--"she is named for me, Mary
----. Won't you come in, sir?"
No, I thought I would not stop. I didn't stop till I reached the hotel,
where I had begged the stage-driver to wait for me but a half hour before,
while I called upon the lovely Miss Mary ----.
"O, sunny dreams of childhood,
How soon they pass away!
Like flowers within the wild wood,
They perish and decay."
A HANDY DOCTOR.
A young physician was supposed to be "keepin' company" with a young lady.
The matronly friend of the latter, having praised the young man from all
points of view, returned one day from the death-bed of a friend, at which
the physician had been present. She eulogized the living fully as much as
the dead man, and finally turning to the girl, as if she had reached the
_ne plus ultra_ of enthusiasm, she said, "Jane, he's the handsomest man I
ever see fixin' round a corpse."
A DOCTOR'S STORY.
The writer is acquainted with a young physician, who read medicine with an
old doctor, named Gitchel, or Twichel, of Portland, and commenced practice
in his native village,--a great mistake for any practitioner to make,--and
where he met with consequences natural to even a prophet, opposition and
scandal. By some mistake, or, as his opponents charged, mal-practice, he
lost a patient. Being, a few days later, in a shop in the next village, he
was secretly informed that the "hounds of the law were after him--even at
the next door, that very moment." Terrified beyond necessity, he caught up
his medicine chest, and, climbing out of the back window, fled to the
woods. In the village, at home, he had courted a lovely young girl, with
whom he had exchanged vows. She knew the talk that was going on
respecting the young doctor, but she believed it not, or, believing,
clung the firmer to her pledges.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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