The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
[Illustration: FLIGHT OF THE DOCTOR.]
"After night fell I left the woods, and took to the highway. To go home I
was afraid. O, had I but braved the doctors, and defied the lawyers, all
would have been well," he told me afterwards. "But I had received such ill
treatment, been scandalized so severely, that I was cowed to the earth. I
knew not if my life, my Angie, had also turned against me, when the news
was spread that I had tacitly admitted my crime by fleeing.
"I went to W., hundreds of miles away. I took a new name, and put out my
shingle. I was at once patronized, and soon extensively; but I was morose
and unhappy. I was offered a home and a wife. I had as good as a wife away
in my far-off home; I was bound to her, and I _loved_ her as I _hated my
own soul_! I dared not write to her, nor go to her. 'O, my God, what shall
I do?' I cried, in my misery. He did not hear me, and I came to believe
that _He was not_!
"Thus a whole year wore away, and I had not heard from home. Finally, I
determined to make an attempt to see my Angie. I had, after going to W.,
allowed my heavy beard to go uncropped, which I had never done at home. I
wore no clothes that I brought away with me from home. I purchased a few
knickknacks, put on a slouched hat, and appeared in my native village as a
peddler. Unless my voice betrayed me, I had no fears of detection. To
prevent this mishap I kept a silver coin in my mouth when talking.
"I had called at several houses, but could learn nothing of my betrothed,
without fear of exciting suspicion by too close inquiries. I therefore,
unable longer to stand the suspense, entered her father's house. She and
her mother only were at home. I could scarcely suppress my feelings as I
beheld her, the idol of my heart. When I spoke, she started to her feet,
and with staring countenance gazed fixedly upon me. Then she fell back
into her chair.
[Illustration: FLIGHT OF THE LOVERS.]
[Illustration: THE LOVER AS A PEDDLER.]
"My God, she did not know me.
"The mother noticed how pale the girl looked, and proposed to get her a
drink of water from the porch.
"'No, no, I am not faint.'
"'Yes, yes,' I articulated, with the coin in my mouth; 'get her some
water.'
"Away went the old lady, and, dropping my basket and spitting out the
coin, I cried, 'Angie, Angie, bless you, my darling,' and fell kneeling at
her feet.
"'O, Charley, it is you,--the Lord be praised!--come at last.'
"I sprang to my feet. There was time to say no more. The mother returned
and looked wistfully about.
"'I thought I heard some one saying, "Charley, Charley,"' she said,
presenting the water to Angie, who was now flushed and excited. I was
searching for my coin.
"'O, the water is warm. Mother, dear, do go to the well in the yard, and
get some fresh; and look to see if there is anybody outside calling.' And
away went the old lady.
"'Now, Charley, what brought you back? And why did you stay? And--'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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