The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
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The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
"O, yes," exclaimed the starving soldier. "I think I could eat a bucket
full of pudding and milk."
Mrs. Lee was not long in giving him an opportunity for the trial. She at
first brought him a small quantity, with some sweet milk, and to her joy,
as well as that of the lean, hungry patient, it suited him. He ate it
three times a day, and recovered. Indeed, the sack of meal was worth more
than a sack of dollars, as she had said.
As strange as this may seem, there are instances on record where very
remarkable, yea, absurd articles of diet have cured where medicine
failed.
SMALL BEER.
The Earl of Bath, when he was Mr. Pulteney, was very sick of the
pleuristic fever, in Staffordshire. Doctor after doctor had been called
down from London, till his secretary had paid out the sum of three
thousand seven hundred and fifty dollars. The last two physicians had
given him up. "He must die," said Drs. Friend and Broxholm. They, however
prescribed some simple remedies, and were about to leave, when the
invalid, just alive, was heard to mutter, "Small beer."
"He asks for small beer," said the attendants. "Shall we give him some?"
"Yes, give him 'small beer,' or anything," replied the doctors.
A great two-quart silver pitcher full was brought, and he drank the whole
contents, and demanded more. The request was granted, and, after drinking
the gallon, he fell asleep, perspired freely, and recovered.
THE POETICAL AND AMUSING SIDE.
There is a poetical side, as well as a prosy side, to the camp and
hospital. The following effusion of confusion was sent to the writer by a
brother who gave his life for his country. It was written by a rebel
soldier, who never realized his dream, and doubtless his "Amelia" mourns
his loss as sincerely as though he had fought in a better cause.
TO AMELIA.
1. O, come, my love, and go away to the land up north; for there, they
say, it's rite good picketin' for rebel boys. And we'll take the land, and
sweep the band of New Yorkers into the bay.
2. I've heered of Delmonico's, and Barnum's Shows, and how many hotels the
land only knows. And we'll steer our bark for Centre Park. Here's a health
to ourselves, and away she goes. (Here I drank.)
3. Then come with your knight so true, and down with the boys that's
dressed in blue. Farewell to hoe-cake an' hominy, Richmond and Montgomery.
I'll lick the damn Yankees, an' marry you.
4. Here's a heart, I reckon, as firm's a rock; no truer ever beat neath a
gray or blue frock. So come, my love, and haste away. We'll moor our bark
in New York Bay, when I end this fighting work.
Your true lover,
J. PARSLOE.
The next has been in print, and was written by Major McKnight, while a
prisoner. "He was a poet, musician, and joker, and used to run from grave
to gay, from lively to severe, on almost all mottoes. He was an especial
favorite with his guard, the Union boys."
MY LOVE AND I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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