FIG PASTE AND FIG LEAVES.--SOME OF THOSE OLD FELLOWS.--THEY SLIGHTLY DISAGREE.--HOW TO KEEP CLEAN.--BAXTER VS. THE DOCTOR.--A CURE FOR "RHEUMATIZ."--OLD ENGLISH DOSES.--CURE FOR BLUES.--FOR HYSTERIA.--HEROIC DOSES.--DROWNING A FEVER.-- AN EXACT SCIENCE.--SULPHUR AND MOLASSES.--A USE FOR POOR IRISH.--MINERAL SPRINGS.--COLD DRINKS VS. WARM.--THE OLD LADY AND THE AIR-PUMP.--SAVED BY HER BUSTLE.--COUNTRY PRESCRIPTIONS AND A FUNNY MISTAKE.--ARE YOU DRUNK OR SOBER? 517 XXI. SCENES FROM HOSPITAL AND CAMP. "HE FOUGHT MIT SIEGEL."--A HOSPITAL SCENE AT NIGHT.-- ADMINISTERING ANGELS.--"WATER! WATER!"--THE SOLDIER-BOY'S DYING MESSAGE.--THE WELL-WORN BIBLE.--WARM HEARTS IN FROZEN BODIES.--"PUDDING AND MILK."--THE POETICAL AND AMUSING SIDE.--"TO AMELIA."--MY LOVE AND I.--A SCRIPTURAL CONUNDRUM.--MARRYING A REGIMENT. 538 XXII. GLUTTONS AND WINE-BIBBERS. GOOD CHEER AND A CHEERFUL HEART.--A MODERN SILENUS.--A SAD WRECK.--DELIRIUM TREMENS.--FATAL ERRORS.--"EATING LIKE A GLUTTON."--STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS.--A HOT PLACE, EVEN FOR A COOK.--A HUNGRY DOCTOR.--THE MODERN GILPIN.--A CHANGE! A SOW FOR A HORSE!--A DUCK POND.--THE FORLORN WIDOW.--A SCIENTIFIC GORMAND.--ANOTHER.--"DOORN'T GO TO 'IM," ETC.--DR. BUTLER'S BEER AND BATH.--CASTS HIS LAST VOTE. 550 XXIII. THE DOCTOR AS POET, AUTHOR, AND MUSICIAN. OUR PATRON, OUR PATTERN.--SOME WRITERS.--SOME BLUNDERS.--AN OLD SMOKER.--OLD GREEKS.--A DUKE ANSWERED BY A COUNTRY MISS.--THE PILGRIMS AND THE PEAS.--"LITTLE DAISY."--"CASA WAPPA!"--FINE POETRY.--MORE SCHOOLMASTERS AND TAILORS.-- NAPOLEON'S AND WASHINGTON'S PHYSICIANS.--A FRENCH "BUTCHER."--A DIF. OF OPINION.--SOME EPITAPHS.--DR. HOLMES' "ONE-HOSS SHAY."--HEALTHFUL INFLUENCE OF MUSIC.--SAVED BY MUSIC.--A GERMAN TOUCH-UP.--MUSIC ON ANIMALS.--"MUSIC AMONG THE MICE."--MUSIC AND HEALTH. 571 XXIV. ADULTERATIONS. BREAD, BUTTER, AND THE BIBLE.--"JACK ASHORE."--BUCKWHEAT CAKES ARE GOOD.--WHAT'S IN THE BREAD, AND HOW TO DETECT IT.-- BUTTER.--HOW TO TELL GOOD AND BAD.--MILK.--ANALYSIS OF GOOD AND "SWILL MILK."--WHAT'S IN THE MILK BESIDES MICE?--THE COW WITH ONE TEAT.--"LOUD" CHEESE.--TEA AND COFFEE.--TANNIN, SAWDUST, AND HORSES' LIVERS.--ALCOHOLIC DRINKS.--CHURCH WINE AND BREAD.--BEER AND BITTER HERBS.--SPANISH FLIES AND STRYCHNINE.--"NINE MEN STANDIN' AT THE DOOR."--BURTON'S ALE; AN ASTONISHING FACT.--FISHY.--"FISH ON A SPREE."--TO REMEDY IMPURE WATER.--CHARCOAL AND THE BISHOP.--HOG-ISH.--PORK AND SCROFULA.--NOTICES OF THE PRESS. 599 XXV. ALL ABOUT TOBACCO.