Tommy looked at her gloomily, under his brows. Betty never cried; tears
no more belonged to her than to him. When they had been children, one
had hardly ever cried without the other. Tommy looked at Betty's tears
now, speculating on her 'mental standpoint,' and on how far she divined
his.
'What's wrong?' he asked. 'Anything ... I can do...?'
If it was merely the mental standpoint, he knew that she would not word
it; so he exposed himself to her answer, unafraid. They had never failed
each other by betraying such trust. The completeness of his trust
enabled one to watch the other's tears without wincing.
'N-nothing,' said Betty, and her voice, in its weariness, caught upon a
laugh, while her eyes were still wet. 'Only--only I think I've been
talking too much to-day--and that's so tiring.' (It would seem that the
Crevequers must lead an exhausting life.) 'And I met the baby Venables
sitting outside a church, and it talked about beagling; you run after a
hare till you catch it--did you know? It's so jolly. Thinking of that
made me feel tired, I expect. And have you been stealing eighty out of
the rent? Because I haven't.'
She was counting the pence again, laying them in precarious piles on the
arm of her chair.
Tommy had gone to the window, and stood looking out into the soft
darkness and the noisy street below, his hands in his pockets.
Those tears had somehow a little loosed his speech.
'The beastly thing,' he said drearily, 'is how everything is such a
bore, and how it will go on always, just like this.'
Betty did not need him to tell her that that was a bad thing--one of
them, but not the chief. She said:
'I know.'
'No; but you can't quite know,' Tommy told her, 'because--because for
you it's rather different.'
The quick movement of Betty's hand sent the pence scattering on to the
floor, ringing on the bare stone.
'There'll be more than eighty out now,' she said. 'And it's not
different; it's quite the same.'
Tommy turned and faced her, pondering, looking at her from under gloomy
brows, seeing how she had sunk her chin on to one clenched hand, and was
looking down at the pennies on the floor sombrely. He was speculating on
her position, how it could be quite the same. She elucidated it a little
with, 'It's what one can take that counts ... nothing else.... So it's
quite the same.'
Tommy thought it over, and said, 'I see.'
Yet it seemed to him that what one had been offered might also, in the
long run, count a little--anyhow, in the retrospect.
Such an amount seemed to have been now admitted between them that Betty
could say, 'We're down on our luck, you and I.... Tommy, I'm horribly
sorry.'
The last was pity, and he took it from her now without wincing; that it
was 'quite the same' for both of them made it a simple thing to give
and take. He gave his in return, gently, now that her position had thus
emerged to him.
'I'm sorry, too,' he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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