Still smiling from the fulness of delightful and changing sensations, I
sank into bed, and had already closed my eyes when it suddenly occurred
to me that I had not thought of my cruel fair one once in the whole
evening. "What does it mean?" I asked myself. "Am I not hopelessly in
love?" But just as I put this question to myself I fell asleep, as it
seemed, like a baby in its cradle.
* * * * *
The next morning (I was awake, but had not risen) some one knocked with
a stick under my window, and a voice that I immediately recognized as
Gagin's began to sing,
Sleepest thou still?
My lute shall wake thee.
I ran to open the door for him.
"Good morning," said Gagin as he entered. "I disturb you a little early.
But what a morning it is! Fresh, dewy; the larks singing." With his
wavy, shining hair, his bare neck and ruddy checks, he was as fresh as
the morning himself.
I dressed myself, and we went out into the garden, sat down upon a
bench, ordered coffee, and began to talk. Gagin confided to me his plans
for the future. Possessed of a fair property, and entirely independent,
he wished to devote himself to painting; only he regretted that this
decision had been a late one, and that he had already lost much time. I
also detailed my projects, and even took him into the secret of my
unhappy love affair. He listened patiently, but, so far as I could see,
the story of my passion did not awake any very lively sympathy in him.
After he had sighed once or twice out of good manners, he proposed to me
to come and see his studio. I was ready at once.
We did not find Assja. She had gone to the "ruin," the landlady assured
us. Two versts from L---- were the remains of a castle of the middle
ages. Gagin laid all his canvases before me. There was life and truth in
his sketches, a certain breadth and freedom of treatment, but not one
was finished, and the drawing was careless and often faulty. I told him
my opinion frankly.
"Yes, yes," he interrupted me with a sigh. "You are right; it is all
weak and unsatisfactory. But what is to be done? I haven't studied
properly, and the inexcusable carelessness shows everywhere. Before
working it always seems as if I were capable of eagle flights--it seems
as I could hurl the earth out of her course; but when it comes to
execution one loses strength quickly enough, and is tired."
I began to encourage him, but he motioned with his hand that I should be
silent, rolled up his canvases, and threw himself on the sofa. "If my
patience lasts, I shall make something yet," he muttered in his beard;
"if not--then I shall stay a country lout. Come, let us look after
Assja." We started.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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