Africa, North -- Fiction; British -- Africa, North -- Fiction; Love stories; Married women -- Fiction
Suddenly he had become humble, anxious to please her. But now the
violent contrasts in him, unlike the violent contrasts of nature in this
land, exasperated her. She longed to be left alone. She felt ashamed of
Androvsky, and also of herself; she condemned herself bitterly for the
interest she had taken in him, for her desire to put some pleasure into
a life she had deemed sad, for her curiosity about him, for her wish
to share joy with him. She laughed at herself secretly for what she now
called her folly in having connected him imaginatively with the desert,
whereas in reality he made the desert, as everything he approached, lose
in beauty and wonder. His was a destructive personality. She knew it
now. Why had she not realised it before? He was a man to put gall in the
cup of pleasure, to create uneasiness, self-consciousness, constraint
round about him, to call up spectres at the banquet of life. Well, in
the future she could avoid him. After to-day she need never have any
more intercourse with him. With that thought, that interior sense of
her perfect freedom in regard to this man, an abrupt, but always cold,
content came to her, putting him a long way off where surely all that he
thought and did was entirely indifferent to her.
“Come along then,” she said. “We’ll go this way.”
And she turned down an alley which led towards the home of the purple
dog. She did not know at the moment that anything had influenced her to
choose that particular path, but very soon the sound of Larbi’s flute
grew louder, and she guessed that in reality the music had attracted
her. Androvsky walked beside her without a word. She felt that he
was not looking about him, not noticing anything, and all at once she
stopped decisively.
“Why should we take all this trouble?” she said bluntly. “I hate
pretence and I thought I had travelled far away from it. But we are both
pretending.”
“Pretending, Madame?” he said in a startled voice.
“Yes. I that I want to show you this garden, you that you want to see
it. I no longer wish to show it to you, and you have never wished to see
it. Let us cease to pretend. It is all my fault. I bothered you to come
here when you didn’t want to come. You have taught me a lesson. I was
inclined to condemn you for it, to be angry with you. But why should I
be? You were quite right. Freedom is my fetish. I set you free, Monsieur
Androvsky. Good-bye.”
As she spoke she felt that the air was clearing, the clouds were flying.
Constraint at least was at an end. And she had really the sensation of
setting a captive at liberty. She turned to leave him, but he said:
“Please, stop, Madame.”
“Why?”
“You have made a mistake.”
“In what?”
“I do want to see this garden.”
“Really? Well, then, you can wander through it.”
“I do not wish to see it alone.”
“Larbi shall guide you. For half a franc he will gladly give up his
serenading.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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