We hurried upstairs and changed into evening-dress. I tapped at her
door, asking, “Are you ready?”
“All except some hooks and eyes. Come in,” she replied.
She was seated before the looking-glass, with her arms curved upward,
tucking a bow of black ribbon in her hair. It was her reflection that
looked into my face and smiled.
“You do me proud, Fiesole,” I said, remembering one of Vi’s phrases.
She looked as simple as a sixteen year old girl. Her dress was of pale
green satin, cut high in the waist in Empire fashion, hanging without
fullness to just above her ankles. The sleeves left off at the elbows.
Her wonderful russet hair was gathered into a loose knot and lay coiled
along her neck. She was the Fiesole of my school-days. Had she intended
to remind me?
I sat down on the edge of the bed while she finished her dressing,
following with my eyes the feminine nick-nacks which were strewn about.
But always my eyes came back to her, with the mellow glory from the
window transfiguring her face and neck. There was a nipping sweetness in
being so near to a woman whom I could not hope to possess. I knew that
without marrying her I could not keep her. Platonic friendships are only
safe between men and women whose youth is withered. I was wise enough
to know that. We were chance-met travelers in Lovers’ Land--truants who
would soon be dragged back. I kept saying to myself, “Intimacy such as
we have can go but a short way further; any hour all this may end.”
Then I tried to imagine how this evening would seem to me years hence.
The poignancy of life’s changefulness made me wistful. One day we should
both be old. We should be free from tempestuous desires. The generous
fires of youth would have burnt out. We should know the worth then of
the pleasures we now withheld from one another. We should meet,
having grown commonsense or satiated, and would wonder wherein lay the
mastering attraction we had felt--from what source we had stolen our
romance. We should be weary then, walking where our feet now ran. Why
could we not last out this moment forever?
She rose, shaking down her skirt and courting my admiration.
“You may get to work on the hooks and eyes, old boy.”
Her voice was jerky with excitement. My fingers were awkward with
trembling. As I leant over her, she patted my cheek, flashing a caress
with her eyes. “Do you know, you’re handsome, Dante?”
I wanted to crush her in my arms, but my habitual restraint prevented. I
should destroy the virginal quality in her--something which could never
be put back. My mind conjured the scene. I saw her folded against me,
her eyes brimming up to mine in tender amazement. But my arms went on
with their business, as though some strong power held them down.
“It’s done. Come, bambino, it’s getting late.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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