She drew her hands free. “And yet you’re wounding me now.”
She was always different from other women, doing the unexpected. Instead
of sitting melancholy through dinner, she broke into a burst of high
spirits. She told me about her father, who had marched with Garibaldi.
She rallied me on the awkward little boy I had been when first we
met--all arms, and legs, and shyness. She talked of love in a bantering
fashion, as insanity of the will. One minute she was the cynical woman
of the world--the next the innocent young school-girl. She puzzled
and played with me. Then she fell back into the vein of tenderness,
recalling the good times we had had, stampeding through the Cotswolds in
springtime with the mad wind blowing.
It was nearing midnight when we rose. Going down the little garden, we
halted on the steps by the canal. A dozen shadowy figures leapt up
with hoarse cries. We beckoned to a poppe; the gondola stole up and we
entered.
“Don’t go back yet,” Fiesole pleaded.
We crept through ancient waterways, all solitary and silent; past
churches blanched in the moonlight, and empty piazzas; under bridges
from which some solitary figure leant to observe us. Now a swiftly
moving barca would overtake us; as it fled by we had a glimpse through
the curtains of a man and a woman sitting close together. Now the door
of a tavern would suddenly open, flinging across the water a bar of
garish light; cloaked figures would emerge and the door would close as
suddenly as it had opened. Overhead in balconies we sometimes detected
the stir of life where we had thought there was emptiness, and would
catch the rustle of a woman’s dress or see the red flare of a cigarette.
We had the haunted sensation one has in a wood in May-time: though he
discerns but little with the eye, he is conscious that behind green
leaves an anonymous, teeming world is mating and providing for its
momentous cares.
Fiesole pressed against me; the darkness seemed to fling out hands,
thrusting us together. She slipped off her hood and pushed back her
cloak, displaying her arms and throat and hair. The seduction of her
beauty enthralled and held me spellbound. The air pulsated with illicit
influences. The dreaming city, vague and labyrinthine, was the outward
symbol of my state of mind. I had lost my standards; my will-power
was too inert to rouse itself for their recovery. I was entranced by
a sensuous inner vision of loveliness which exhausted my faculties of
resistance. I apprehended some fresh allurement of femininity through
each portal of sense. Fiesole’s touch made my flesh burn; her eyes stung
me to pity; her voice caressed me. Her body relaxed till it rested the
length of mine. Her head lay against my shoulder; her arms were warm
about my neck. I tried to think--to think of honor and duty; but I could
only think of her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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