On rising one morning, I found that the subdued grays and browns had
vanished--that London was glistening with snow. My spirits rose to an
unaccustomed pitch of buoyancy; I tossed aside my writing and went
out into the streets. Coming to the Spuffler’s old house I halted; the
memory of the Christmas I had spent there leapt into my mind with every
detail sharpened. Things which I had not thought of for years came back
luminously--scraps of conversation, gestures, childish excitements. This
wintry morning was reminiscent of a snow-lit, sun-dazzled morning of
long ago. I recalled how Ruthita had bounced into my room to let me see
her presents; how she had balanced herself on the edge of my bed in her
long white night-gown, with her legs curled under her and her small
feet showing; how she had laughed at my care of her when I wrapped the
counterpane about her shoulders to prevent her from catching cold. Every
memory was somehow connected with Ruthita. And here I stood, a man
of thirty, looking up at the windows from which we had once gazed out
together--and I had not seen her to speak to for five years.
I could not get her out of mind. I did not want to. I kept tracing
resemblances to her in the girls whom I passed in the streets. Some of
them were carrying their skates, with flying hair and flushed faces.
Others, whom I met after lunch in the theatre districts, were going to
matinées with school-boy brothers. I wanted to be back again in the old
intimacy, walking beside her. Since that was impossible, I set myself
deliberately to remember.
In the afternoon I strolled into the Green Park. Constitution Hill was
scattered with spectators all agape to see the quality drive by. Every
now and then a soldier or statesman would be recognized; the word
would pass from mouth to mouth with a flutter of excitement. The trees
enameled in white, the grass in its sparkling blanket, the sky banked
with soft clouds, the flushed faces--everything added its hint of
animated and companionable kindness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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