LAWTON: ‘There was only one, and none of him has been arrested.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Where is he, then?’ LAWTON: ‘In this house.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Now, Dr. Lawton, you and I are old friends—I shouldn’t like to say _how_ old—but if you don’t instantly be serious, I—I’ll carry my rheumatism to somebody else.’ LAWTON: ‘My _dear_ Mrs. Crashaw, you know how much I prize that rheumatism of yours! I will be serious—I will be only too serious. The garotter is Mr. Roberts himself.’ ALL, horror-struck: ‘Oh!’ LAWTON: ‘He went out without his watch. He thought he was robbed, but he wasn’t. He ran after the supposed thief, our poor friend Bemis here, and took Bemis’s watch away, and brought it home for his own.’ YOUNG BEMIS: ‘Yes, but—’ MRS. BEMIS: ‘But, papa—’ BEMIS: ‘How do you know it? I can see how such a thing might happen, but—how do you know it _did_?’ LAWTON: ‘I divined it.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Nonsense!’ LAWTON: ‘Very well, then, I read of just such a ease in the _Advertiser_ a year ago. It occurs annually—in the newspapers. And I’ll tell you what, Mrs. Crashaw—Roberts found out his mistake as soon as he went to his dressing-room; and that ingenious nephew of yours, who’s closeted with him there, has been trying to put him up to something—to some game.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Willis has too much sense. He would know that Edward couldn’t carry out any sort of game.’ LAWTON: ‘Well, then, he’s getting Roberts to let _him_ carry out the game.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Edward couldn’t do that either.’ LAWTON: ‘Very well, then, just wait till they come back. Will you leave me to deal with Campbell?’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘What are you going to do?’ YOUNG BEMIS: ‘You mustn’t forget that he got us out of the elevator, sir.’ MRS. BEMIS: ‘We might have been there yet if it hadn’t been for him, papa.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I shouldn’t want Willis mortified.’ BEMIS: ‘Nor Mr. Roberts annoyed. We’re fellow-sufferers in this business.’ LAWTON: ‘Oh, leave it to me, leave it to me! I’ll spare their feelings. Don’t be afraid. Ah, there they come! Now don’t say anything. I’ll just step into the anteroom here.’ II MR. ROBERTS, MR. CAMPBELL, AND THE OTHERS ROBERTS, entering the room before Campbell, and shaking hands with his guests: ‘Ah, Mr. Bemis; Mrs. Bemis; Aunt Mary! You’ve heard of our comical little coincidence—our—Mr. Bemis and my—’ He halts, confused, and looks around for the moral support of Willis, who follows hilariously. WILLIS: ‘Greatest joke on record! But I won’t spoil it for you, Roberts. Go on!’ In a low voice to Roberts: ‘And don’t look so confoundedly down in the mouth. They won’t think it’s a joke at all.’ ROBERTS, with galvanic lightness: ‘Yes, yes—such a joke! Well, you see—you see—’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘See _what_, Edward? _Do_ get it out!’ WILLIS, jollily: ‘Ah, ha, ha!’ ROBERTS, lugubriously: ‘Ah, ha, ha!’ MRS. BEMIS: ‘How funny! Ha, ha, ha!’ YOUNG MR. BEMIS: ‘Capital! capital!’ BEMIS: ‘Excellent!’