MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Nonsense, Edward! How could you tell, so excited as you were?—And caught hold of the largest of the wretches—a perfect young giant—’ ROBERTS: ‘No, no; not a _giant_, my dear.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Well, he was _young_, anyway!—And flung him on the ground.’ She advances upon Mrs. Crashaw in her enthusiasm. MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Don’t you fling _me_ on the ground, Agnes! I won’t have it.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And tore his coat open, while all the rest were tugging at him, and snatched his watch, and then—and then just walked coolly away.’ ROBERTS: ‘No, my dear; I ran as fast as I could.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Well, _ran_. It’s quite the same thing, and I’m just as proud of you as if you had walked. Of course you were not going to throw your life away.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I think he did a very silly thing in going after them at all.’ ROBERTS: ‘Why, of course, if I’d thought twice about it, I shouldn’t have done it.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Of course you wouldn’t, dear! And that’s what I want him to promise, Aunt Mary: never to do it again, no matter _how_ much he’s provoked. I want him to promise it right here in your presence, Aunt Mary!’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I think it’s much more important he should put on another collar and—shirt, if he’s going to see company.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes; go right off at once, Edward. How you _do_ think of things, Aunt Mary! I really suppose I should have gone on all night and never noticed his looks. Run, Edward, and do it, dear. But—kiss me first! Oh, it _don’t_ seem as if you could be alive and well after it all! Are you sure you’re not hurt?’ ROBERTS, embracing her: ‘No; I’m all right.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And you’re not injured internally? Sometimes they’re injured internally—aren’t they, Aunt Mary?—and it doesn’t show till months afterwards. Are you sure?’ ROBERTS, making a cursory examination of his ribs with his hands: ‘Yes, I think so.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And you don’t feel any bad effects from the cologne _now_? Just think, Aunt Mary, I gave him cologne to drink, and poured the brandy on his head, when he came in! But I was determined to keep calm, whatever I did. And if I’ve poisoned him I’m quite willing to die for it—oh, quite! I would gladly take the blame of it before the whole world.’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Well, for pity’s sake, let the man go and make himself decent. There’s your bell now.’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes, do go, Edward. But—kiss me—’ MRS. CRASHAW: ‘He _did_ kiss you, Agnes. Don’t be a simpleton!’ MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Did he? Well, kiss me again, then, Edward. And now do go, dear. M-m-m-m.’ The inarticulate endearments represented by these signs terminate in a wild embrace, protracted halfway across the room, in the height of which Mr. Willis Campbell enters. III MR. CAMPBELL, MRS. CRASHAW, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS WILLIS, pausing in contemplation: ‘Hello! What’s the matter? What’s she trying to get out of you, Roberts? Don’t you do it, anyway, old fellow.’