Now leaning his arms upon the hand-rail of the bulwarks, while the stars
danced in the rigging, and the great ship ploughed her way eastward
across the mighty ridge and furrow of the Atlantic, gratified vanity
ceased to obtain in him. His thoughts travelled back to periods of his
career at once more obscure and more ambitious--to the few vital
raptures, the few fine failures, the few illuminating aspirations which
he had known. The bottom dropped out of the social side of things, so to
speak. He looked below superficial appearances into the heart of it all.
Life put off its cheap frippery of fancy dress, Death its cunningly
devised concealments and evasions. Backed by the immensities of sea and
sky, both stood before him naked and unashamed, in all their primitive
and eternal vigour, their uncompromising actuality, their inviolable
mystery; while, with a sudden and searching apprehension of the profound
import of the question, Rivers asked himself--
"What shall it profit a man--what in good truth--if he gain the whole
world and lose his own soul?"
He had been summoned to England by the illness of an uncle whose estates
and considerable wealth he would inherit. That illness had been
pronounced incurable; but the approaching death of this near relation
made small demand upon his intimate feelings. A decent seriousness of
thought and speech, concerning the impending event, were all that could
reasonably be required of him; for the elder Mr. Rivers was both morose
and eccentric, and had given his nephew a handsome allowance on the
express understanding that he saw as little of him as possible. A
declared misogynist, he had received the announcement of Laurence's
proposed marriage with an exasperating mixture of contempt and approval.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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