The Gem CollectorWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Gem Collector
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Jewel thieves -- Fiction
He could not keep his mind from dwelling on the subject. Even the fact
that--commercially--there was no need for him to think of such things
could not restrain him. He was rich now, and could afford to be
honest. He tried to keep that fact steadily before him, but instinct
was too powerful. His operations in the old days had never been
conducted purely with an eye to financial profit. He had collected
gems almost as much for what they were as for what they could bring.
Many a time had the faithful Spike bewailed the flaw in an otherwise
admirable character, which had induced his leader to keep a portion of
the spoil instead of converting it at once into good dollar bills. It
had had to go sooner or later, but Jimmy had always clung to it as
long as possible. To Spike a diamond brooch of cunning workmanship was
merely the equivalent of so many "plunks". That a man, otherwise more
than sane, should value a jewel for its own sake was to him an
inexplicable thing.
Jimmy was still deep in thought when the train, which had been taking
itself less seriously for the last half hour, stopping at stations of
quite minor importance and generally showing a tendency to dawdle,
halted again. A board with the legend "Corven" in large letters showed
that they had reached their destination.
"Here we are," said Spennie. "Hop out. Now what's the betting that
there isn't room for all of us in the bubble?"
From farther down the train a lady and gentleman emerged.
"That's the man. Is that your uncle?" said Jimmy.
"Guilty," said Spennie gloomily. "I suppose we'd better go and tackle
them. Come on."
They walked up the platform to where Sir Thomas stood smoking a
meditative cigar and watching in a dispassionate way the efforts of
his wife to bully the solitary porter attached to the station into a
frenzy. Sir Thomas was a very tall, very thin man, with cold eyes, and
tight, thin lips. His clothes fitted him in the way clothes do fit one
man in a thousand. They were the best part of him. His general
appearance gave one the idea that his meals did him little good, and
his meditations rather less. His conversation--of which there was not
a great deal--was designed for the most part to sting. Many years'
patient and painstaking sowing of his wild oats had left him at
fifty-six with few pleasures; but among those that remained he ranked
high the discomfiting of his neighbors.
"This is my friend Pitt, uncle," said Spennie, presenting Jimmy with a
motion of the hand.
Sir Thomas extended three fingers. Jimmy extended two, and the
handshake was not a success.
At this point in the interview, Spike came up, chuckling amiably, with
a magazine in his hand.
"P'Chee!" said Spike. "Say, Mr. Chames, de mug what wrote dis piece
must ha' bin livin' out in de woods for fair. His stunt ain't writin',
sure. Say, dere's a gazebo what wants to get busy wit' de heroine's
jools what's locked in de drawer in de dressin' room. So dis mug, what
do youse t'ink he does? Why----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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