The Gem CollectorWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Gem Collector
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Jewel thieves -- Fiction
"I wonder if you ever came across any men in the force who made
anything by that dodge of arresting a person and then getting a lawyer
for them. Ever heard of that? It's rather like a double ruff at
bridge. You--I'm awfully sorry. I shouldn't have used that word. What
I meant to say was the policeman makes his arrest, then suggests that
the person had better have a bondsman. He gathers in a bondsman, who
charges the prisoner four dollars for bailing him out. Two dollars of
this goes to the sergeant, who accepts the bail without question, and
the policeman takes one. Then the able and intelligent officer says to
the prisoner: 'What you want is a lawyer.' 'Right,' says the prisoner,
'if you think so.' Off goes the policeman and gets the lawyer. Five
more dollars, of which he gets his share. It's a beautiful system. It
might interest the people at dinner to-night to hear about it. I think
I'll tell them."
"You'll----"
"And when you come to think that some policemen in New York take
tribute from peddlers who obstruct the traffic, tradesmen who obstruct
the sidewalk, restaurant keepers who keep open after one o'clock in
the morning, drivers who exceed speed limits, and keepers of pool
rooms, you'll understand that there's a good bit to be made out of
graft, if you go in for it seriously. It's uncommonly lucky,
McEachern, that you were left that money. Otherwise you might have
been tempted, mightn't you?"
There was a somewhat breathless silence in the room. Mr. McEachern was
panting slightly.
"You couldn't reconsider your decision about sending me away
to-morrow, I suppose?" said Jimmy, flicking at his shoes with a
handkerchief. "It's a lovely part of the country, this. I would be
sorry to leave it."
Mr. McEachern's brain was working with unwonted rapidity. This man
must be silenced at all costs. It would be fatal to his prospects in
English society if one tithe of these gruesome stories were made
public. And he believed Jimmy capable of making them public, being
guilty thereby of an error of judgment. Jimmy, though he had no
respect at all for Mr. McEachern, would have died sooner than spread
any story which, even in an indirect way, could reflect upon Molly.
Mr. McEachern, however, had not the advantage of knowing his
antagonist's feelings, and the bluff was successful.
"Ye can stay," he said.
"Thanks," said Jimmy.
"And I'll beg ye not to mention the force at dinner or at any other
time."
"I won't dream of it."
"They think I made me money on Wall Street."
"It would have been a slower job there. You were wise in your choice.
Shall we go down to the drawing-room, now?"
"Ye say y'are rich yerself," said McEachern.
"Very," said Jimmy, "so don't you worry yourself, my Wall Street
speculator."
Mr. McEachern did not worry himself. He had just recollected that in a
very short time he would have a trained detective on the premises. Any
looking after that James Willoughby Pitt might require might safely be
left in the hands of this expert.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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