The Gem CollectorWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Gem Collector
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Jewel thieves -- Fiction
From where he sat, he had an excellent view of the rope of pearls
which was tugging him back to his old ways. And when he looked at them
he could not see Molly. The thing was symbolical. It must be one or
the other. He was at the crossroads. The affair was becoming a civil
war. He felt like a rudderless boat between two currents. Eight years
of gem collecting do not leave a man without a deep-rooted passion for
the sport. As for that steel box, that was all nonsense. It was
probably quite a good steel box, and the lock might very well be
something out of the ordinary; but it could not be a harder job than
some of those he had tackled.
The pearls shone in the lamplight. They seemed to be winking at him.
CHAPTER X.
In a cozy corner of the electric flame department of the infernal
regions there stands a little silver gridiron. It is the private
property of his Satanic majesty, and is reserved exclusively for the
man who invented amateur theatricals. It is hard to see why the
amateur actor has been allowed to work his will unchecked for so long.
These performances of his are diametrically opposed to the true sport
of civilization, which insists that the good of the many should be
considered as being of more importance than that of the few.
In the case of amateur theatricals, a large number of inoffensive
people are annoyed simply in order that a mere handful of
acquaintances may amuse themselves. Usually the whole thing can be
laid at the door of the man, the organizer. He is the serpent in the
Eden. Before his arrival, the house party were completely happy, and
asked for nothing else but to be left alone. Then he arrives. At
breakfast on his first morning, he strikes the first blow--casually
helping himself to scrambled eggs the while, with the air of a man
uttering some agreeable commonplace. "I say," he remarks, "why not get
up some theatricals?" Eve, in the person of some young lady who would
be a drawing-room reciter if drawing-room reciters were allowed
nowadays, snatches at the apple. "Oh, yes," she says. "It ought to be
for a charity," suggests somebody else. "Of course for a charity,"
says the serpent. Ten minutes later he has revealed the fact that he
has brought down a little thing of his own which will just do, and is
casting the parts. And after that the man who loves peace and quiet
may as well pack up and leave. He will have no more rest in that
house.
In the present case, the serpent was a volatile young gentleman of the
name of Charteris. This indomitable person had the love of the stage
ineradicably implanted in him. He wrote plays, and lived in hopes of
seeing them staged at the leading theatres. Meanwhile, he was content
to bring them out through the medium of amateur performances.
It says much for the basic excellence of this man's character that he
was popular among his fellows, who, liking the man, overlooked the
amateur stage manager.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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