The Gem CollectorWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Gem Collector
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Jewel thieves -- Fiction
A man's first crime is, as a rule, a shockingly amateurish affair. Now
and then, it is true, we find beginners forging with the accuracy of
old hands or breaking into houses with the finish of experts. But
these are isolated cases. The average tyro lacks generalship
altogether. Spennie may be cited as a typical novice. It did not
strike him that inquiries might be instituted by Sir Thomas, when he
found his money gone, and that Wesson, finding a man whom he knew to
be impecunious suddenly in possession of twenty pounds, might have
suspicions. His mind was entirely filled with the thought of getting
the money. There was no room in it for any other reflection.
His plan was simple. Sir Thomas, he knew, always carried a good deal
of money with him. It was unlikely that he kept this on his person in
the evening. A man to whom the set of his clothes is as important as
it was to Sir Thomas, does not carry a pocket-book full of banknotes
when he is dressed for dinner. He would leave it somewhere, reasoned
Spennie. Where, he asked himself. The answer was easy. In his dressing
room. Spennie's plan of campaign was complete.
The theatricals began at half-past eight. The audience had been
hustled into their seats, happier than is usual in such circumstances
from the rumor that the proceedings were to terminate with an informal
dance. The abbey was singularly well constructed for such a purpose.
There was plenty of room, and a sufficiency of retreat for those who
sat out, in addition to a conservatory large enough to have married
off half the couples in the county. The audience was in an excellent
humor, and the monologue, the first item of the programme, was
received with a warmth which gave Charteris, whom rehearsals had
turned into a pessimist, a faint hope that the main item on the
programme might not be the complete failure it had promised to be.
Spennie's idea had been to get through his burglarious specialty
during the monologue, when his absence would not be noticed. It might
be that if he disappeared later in the evening people would wonder
what had become of him.
He lurked apart till the last of the audience had taken their seats.
As he was passing through the hall, a hand fell on his shoulder.
Conscience makes cowards of us all. Spennie bit his tongue and leaped
three inches into the air.
"Hello, Charteris!" he said gaspingly.
"Spennie, my boyhood's only friend," said Charteris, "where are you
off to?"
"What--what do you mean? I was just going upstairs."
"Then don't. You're wanted. Our prompter can't be found. I want you to
take his place till he blows in. Come along."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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