"Well, it's all rot!" put in Mr. Brief. "There never was any such union as that, and there never will be." "You are the last person in the world to say a thing like that, Mr. Brief," said the Idiot--"you, who belong to the nearest approach to the ideal union that the world has ever known!" "What! Me?" demanded the Lawyer. "Me? I belong to a union?" "Of course you do--or at least you told me you did," said the Idiot. "Well, you are the worst!" retorted Mr. Brief, angrily. "When did I ever tell you that I belonged to a union?" "Last Friday night at dinner, and in the presence of this goodly company," said the Idiot. "You were bragging about it, too--said that no institution in existence had done more to uplift the moral tone of the legal profession; that through its efforts the corrupt practitioner and the shyster were gradually being driven to the wall--" "Well, this beats me," said Mr. Brief. "I recall telling at dinner on Friday night about the Bar Association--" "Precisely," said the Idiot. "That's what I referred to. If the Bar Association isn't a Lawyer's Union Number Six of the highest type, I don't know what is. It is conducted by the most brilliant minds in the profession; its honors are eagerly sought after by the brainiest laborers in the field of Coke and Blackstone; its stern, relentless eye is fixed upon the evil-doer, and it is an effective instrument for reform not only in its own profession, but in the State as well. What I would have the Housemaid's Union do for domestic servants and for the home, the Bar Association does for the legal profession and for the State, and if the lawyers can do this thing there is no earthly reason why the housemaids shouldn't." "Pah!" ejaculated Mr. Brief. "You place the bar and domestic service on the same plane of importance, do you?" "No, I don't," said the Idiot. "Shouldn't think of doing so. Twenty people need housemaids, where one requires a lawyer; therefore the domestic is the more important of the two." "Humph!" said Mr. Brief, with an angry laugh. "Intellectual qualifications, I suppose, go for nothing in the matter." "Well, I don't know about that," said the Idiot. "I guess, however, that there are more housemaids earning a living to-day than lawyers--and, besides--oh, well, never mind--What's the use? I don't wish to quarrel about it." "Go on--don't mind me--I'm really interested to know what further you can say," snapped Mr. Brief. "Besides--what?" "Only this, that when it comes to the intellectuals--Well, really, Mr. Brief," asked the Idiot, "really now, did you ever hear of anybody going to an intelligence office for a lawyer?" Mr. Brief's reply was not inaudible, for just at that moment he swallowed his coffee the wrong way, and in the effort to bring him to, the thread of the argument snapped, and up to the hour of going to press had not been tied together again. XI THE GENTLE ART OF BOOSTING