Artists -- Relations with women -- Fiction; Artists -- United States -- Fiction
But Eugene in spite of his unfaithfulness did sympathize with Angela
greatly. He appreciated her good qualities--her truthfulness, economy,
devotion and self-sacrifice in all things which related to him. He was
sorry that his own yearning for freedom crossed with her desire for
simple-minded devotion on his part. He could not love her as she wanted
him to, that he knew, and yet he was at times sorry for it, very. He
would look at her when she was not looking at him, admiring her
industry, her patience, her pretty figure, her geniality in the face of
many difficulties, and wish that she could have had a better fate than
to have met and married him.
Because of these feelings on his part for her he could not bear to see
her suffer. When she appeared to be ill he could not help drawing near
to her, wanting to know how she was, endeavoring to make her feel better
by those sympathetic, emotional demonstrations which he knew meant so
much to her. On this particular evening, noting the still drawn agony of
her face, he was moved to insist. "What's the matter with you,
Angelface, these days? You look so tired. You're not right. What's
troubling you?"
"Oh, nothing," replied Angela wearily.
"But I know there is," he replied. "You can't be feeling well. What's
ailing you? You're not like yourself at all. Won't you tell me, sweet?
What's the trouble?"
He was thinking because Angela said nothing that it must be a real
physical illness. Any emotional complaint vented itself quickly.
"Why should you care?" she asked cautiously, breaking her self-imposed
vow of silence. She was thinking that Eugene and this woman, whoever she
was, were conspiring to defeat her and that they were succeeding. Her
voice had changed from one of weary resignation to subtle semi-concealed
complaint and offense, and Eugene noted it. Before she could add any
more, he had observed, "Why shouldn't I? Why, how you talk! What's the
matter now?"
Angela really did not intend to go on. Her query was dragged out of her
by his obvious sympathy. He was sorry for her in some general way. It
made her pain and wrath all the greater. And his additional inquiry
irritated her the more.
"Why should you?" she asked weepingly. "You don't want me. You don't
like me. You pretend sympathy when I look a little bad, but that's all.
But you don't care for me. If you could get rid of me, you would. That
is so plain."
"Why, what are you talking about?" he asked, astonished. Had she found
out anything? Was the incident of the scraps of paper really closed? Had
anybody been telling her anything about Carlotta? Instantly he was all
at sea. Still he had to pretend.
"You know I care," he said. "How can you say that?"
"You don't. You know you don't!" she flared up suddenly. "Why do you
lie? You don't care. Don't touch me. Don't come near me. I'm sick of
your hypocritical pretences! Oh!" And she straightened up with her
finger nails cutting into her palms.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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