The Gentle Art of Cooking WivesWorthington, Elizabeth Strong
General
The Gentle Art of Cooking Wives
Worthington, Elizabeth Strong
Marriage
Breaking a stout switch from a tree, he proceeded to use it with such
energy that Sarah started for the barn at a sprinting gait. She did
not mind being sent home--that she expected as a matter of course;
but she hotly resented the manner in which it was done. Reaching the
barn and finding the door closed, she suddenly turned and charged
Steve with such malice and vigor that she was upon him before he had
time to think of escaping or of defending himself. With one blow she
knocked him down, but happily, instead of demolishing him at once, she
stood over him glaring and otherwise torturing him mentally before she
could decide upon the best method by which to blot him out of
existence.
While Steve was thus being rolled as a sweet morsel of revenge under
the tongue of the vicious Sarah, Brownie came running from the house.
Possibly he beheld his master's predicament and wished to succor him;
possibly he was animated by the spirit of mischief which seemed to
possess him most of the time. However that may be, he collided with a
hive of bees as he ran and upset it. Then swift as a flash he fled to
a large tree growing nearby and stood upon his little hind feet close
to its trunk, in such a manner that he was completely hidden from
view.
The bees, raging out of their house and looking about them for the
enemy who had knocked so rudely at their back door as to overturn the
entire building, beheld Sarah Maria standing rampant over the
prostrate Steve. The latter looked meek enough, but the former was
evidently equal to anything vicious. Accepting this circumstantial
evidence without investigation, the bees sallied forth in a body and
proceeded to punish the wicked cow, and in about one minute Mrs. Maria
was dancing a fisher's hornpipe of the most extravagant character.
With tail tilted at a disrespectful angle, she careened in such
fashion as to bring her flying heels close to Steve's terrified nose.
Meanwhile he lay still, watching proceedings with gentle amazement.
"Most extraordinary conduct," he said.
By-and-by, thinking the time ripe for escape, he attempted to rise and
slip away, but the eagle eye of the festive bovine caught his first
movement, and she pounced upon him so viciously that nothing but his
feigning to be dead saved his life. Just at this junction the kitchen
door opened, and Bridget, who had observed these high proceedings from
the window, put out her head and screamed "Murther!" on hearing which
Sarah dashed toward the house, but was back again upon Steve before he
had a chance to rise.
"Upset another hive, me dear!" screamed Bridget. "Sure a big dose of
bees will be good fer her."
Sarah Maria again galloped toward the kitchen, and Bridget hastily
withdrew her counsel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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