E-text prepared by John Bickers and Dagny and revised by Joseph E. Loewenstein, M.D. Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 1805-h.htm or 1805-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/8/0/1805/1805-h/1805-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/8/0/1805/1805-h.zip) THE GENTLE GRAFTER by O. HENRY Illustrated by H. C. Greening and May Wilson Preston 1919 [Illustration: "They began to cuss, amiable, and throw down dollars." (Frontispiece)] CONTENTS I. The Octopus Marooned II. Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet III. Modern Rural Sports IV. The Chair of Philanthromathematics V. The Hand That Riles the World VI. The Exact Science of Matrimony VII. A Midsummer Masquerade VIII. Shearing the Wolf IX. Innocents of Broadway X. Conscience in Art XI. The Man Higher Up XII. A Tempered Wind XIII. Hostages to Momus XIV. The Ethics of Pig THE OCTOPUS MAROONED "A trust is its weakest point," said Jeff Peters. "That," said I, "sounds like one of those unintelligible remarks such as, 'Why is a policeman?'" "It is not," said Jeff. "There are no relations between a trust and a policeman. My remark was an epitogram--an axis--a kind of mulct'em in parvo. What it means is that a trust is like an egg, and it is not like an egg. If you want to break an egg you have to do it from the outside. The only way to break up a trust is from the inside. Keep sitting on it until it hatches. Look at the brood of young colleges and libraries that's chirping and peeping all over the country. Yes, sir, every trust bears in its own bosom the seeds of its destruction like a rooster that crows near a Georgia colored Methodist camp meeting, or a Republican announcing himself a candidate for governor of Texas." I asked Jeff, jestingly, if he had ever, during his checkered, plaided, mottled, pied and dappled career, conducted an enterprise of the class to which the word "trust" had been applied. Somewhat to my surprise he acknowledged the corner. "Once," said he. "And the state seal of New Jersey never bit into a charter that opened up a solider and safer piece of legitimate octopusing. We had everything in our favor--wind, water, police, nerve, and a clean monopoly of an article indispensable to the public. There wasn't a trust buster on the globe that could have found a weak spot in our scheme. It made Rockefeller's little kerosene speculation look like a bucket shop. But we lost out." "Some unforeseen opposition came up, I suppose," I said. "No, sir, it was just as I said. We were self-curbed. It was a case of auto-suppression. There was a rift within the loot, as Albert Tennyson says.